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I would wait until you have been married a bit longer before you make a decision. I decided to hyphenate and have flip-flopped back and forth so many times, sometimes wishing I had not taken his name at all, and other times wishing I had just dropped my maiden name and taken his altogether. It's a huge, expensive legal ordeal to change it back, so just be SURE you want to if it's what you decide to do. I think it's normal to questions your decision; after all, your name is a vital part of your identity. Good luck in making this decision!
We have the same wedding date, have the same type of last name and it sounds like you're a teacher too.
On paper, I am Mrs. Smith Jones, but had my students refer to me as Mrs. Jones to make it easier for them.
I figure my double last name is going to be for legal documents and my single last name (his) is who I am socially.
It must be different there, I just have to stop at one place and they change my ID with my marriage certificate. I would ask that people start calling you both names and see how it works out.
I have a somewhat similar issue. I couldn't give up my maiden name, and have a few reasons for wanting to keep my middle name. I decided to change to MyFirst MyMiddle MyMaiden HisLast. I still go by my maiden name at work, but everywhere else, I want to be MyFirst MyMaiden HisLast. People keep leaving off MyMaiden and it is so frustrating! Very little of my mail comes to me correctly addressed. I introduce myself with three names, and put it on everything except stuff it really doesn't matter- like when I get my oil changed or stupid stuff like that.
I just keep using my name and when possible to politely point it out, I do. I try not to let it bother me, but it does. My suggestion would be give it more time and always introduce yourself by the name you want to go as, and put it on everything.
I would tell your friends and relative to use both names, but I'm not sure what else you can do. Try not to let it bother you? This used to bother me too, people are always mis-pronouncing and mis-spelling my first, last name and my FH's last name. It is so maddening, but not everyone pays attention to these details!
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Hi Bees,
We got married 5 months ago, and my name change process is pretty much complete now but I am really struggling with it and I'm not sure I want to stick with what I have changed it to but I don't know if this is just getting used to it or what it is! It's not just the different name, it is a history of emotion with my name due to my biological father & my stepdad's (Dad to me) surnames as well. Sorry, this is long and no doubt confusing with so many changes!
To explain -
My name was changed by my Mom & Stepdad (who I call my dad) when I was a child so that my biological surname became a second middle name and my stepdad's name became my surname.
So for example, I was born Emily Jane Smith. Smith is my biological father's surname.
My Mom married my Stepdad when I was 3, he has raised me as his own child and I haven't seen my biological father since he divorced my Mom when I was about 1.
My Mom & Stepdad changed my name to Emily Jane Smith Jones (Jane and Smith now middle names, Jones is Stepdad's surname). I only used Emily Jane Jones because I refused to use biological father's name.
When I married, I had to change my name through a lawyer because of where I was born and now live, and married. I thought about changingmy name to double barrell my surname with my hubby, but I also wanted to lose my biological father's surname which was my second middle name. I decided not to double barrell though because I am a teacher, and it was a mouthful with our names together, and the lawyer huffed and puffed about whether or not I could drop a middle name and hypenate at the same time - it just seemed more practical not to.
So I changed my name, taking hubby's surname, dropping Smith (biological father's surname) and making my stepdad's surname (Jones) a second middle name - I became Emily Jane Jones Mac
I am called Mrs Mac every day at school, so I am very used to the surname but it is making me unbelievably mad how many times my 2nd middle name or initial (stepdad's name, which I consider my maiden) is left off everything, including by my hubby's parents.
People seem to assume I have just changed to Emily Jane Mac and it is driving me mad, I am putting Jones on everything and still signing with that signature - which I don't intend to change.
But I am seriously wishing I had hypenated and become Emily Jane Jones-Mac. However, having gone through the process of updating everything, paying lawyer fees, and fees to have my passport changed, documents produced, I feel like it would be really stupid to try to change it. But I really want my maiden name used.
Am I just being daft, did it take you ages to get used to your name change? I don't know!