Post # 1
one of the classic debates when deciding to get married: the name change.
I am currently very frustrated with this topic. My name is okay, but hard to spell. FI’s name is easy to spell and easy to use internationally. i also like the tradition/unity of sharing a family name. I am sure that I will change my name. FI is 100% adamant about keeping his name, having to continue the family name etc etc.
We’ve so far mostly talked about the name change question humorously, but his stubbornness frustrates and upsets me. I thought about this quite a bit and… I think what upsets me is that I am willing to make such a big change for him, while he wouldn’t even consider it.
Am I just creating problems where none exist? Is wanting to have this huge change acknowledged too much to ask?
Post # 3
I’m a little confused. Are you wanting your fiance to change his name too or just be open to considering a change?
I also had a confusing and hard to spell last name and changed my name to my husband’s last name. I was happy to do it but I’m very traditional. I love sharing his name and it makes me feel very much like his wife and that we are a family unit. It never crossed my mind to not change it after we got married – however, I do keep using my maiden name professionally since I’m 35 and am known in my profession.
Good luck making your decision – and know that you don’t HAVE to make the decision right away (though it is easier to do it right away). Congratulations on your upcoming marriage!
Post # 4
I am switching to his last name because I’m more traditional. But I do like my last name cause I love my initials. But such is life.
Now, all of my gf use their maiden professionally since its how they are known. I’ve had co-workers that I discovered after 5yrs of working together that they were using their maiden name. Hell, my Director goes by her maiden name even though she’s been married for sometime.
I do have one gf who uses her 1st husband’s last name cause her maiden name is Swedish. Plus all of her professional work is under her 1st husband’s last name.
It all depends on you.
Congrats on your impending nuptials. Don’t worry, it’ll be resolved before you sign your license.
Post # 5
It seems that you’ve already answered your own question in your 2nd paragraph.
“My name is okay, but hard to spell. FI’s name is easy to spell and easy to use internationally. i also like the tradition/unity of sharing a family name. I am sure that I will change my name.”
IMO you are “creating problems where none exists”.