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i'm planning on changing mine on fb. there use to be a place where you can type in your maiden name and it will show up besides your married name in parentheses. i haven't checked on that since they've revamped it (again) but i'm assuming it's still there.
i'm not really nervous about it. i feel like it's my name and if i want to change it it's only my and FH's business and people can keep their opinions on my name to themselves. if you would like to do it i say do it!
I like the idea of changing it but still having my maiden name next to it
like Leah -new name- (Leah -oldname-)
Really? That's odd that people would give you a hard time for it! I am in Ontario too and the majority of people that I know who have gotten married have changed their last names to their husband's name on facebook!
If you are happy with your name change and people make rude comments just ignore and move on! The women's movement has allowed us a CHOICE and no one should put you down for your choice.
Yeah I live in Ottawa, but am originally from Québec and most people around me are still there. Women can't change their name there even if they wanted to, it's not permitted. Plus, the mentality is different, most of them wouldn't change it even if they were given the choice. They're like: our grandmas had to do that but we don't anymore, why would you choose that for yourself?
No one should put you down for your choice, but they still will. I think it's normal to have some nervousness about changing your name in a forum like facebook where people can weigh in so easily. Hopefully, most people will understand and those that think it weird will not comment. And if they do... ugh.
We're actually both changing our last names to become the "Smith Johnsons," no hyphen, but I always thought it was a little weird when my married friends on facebook became Aimee 'Larson' Andrews or something. Makes it seem, to me, like 'Larson' is a nickname, not a maiden name.
Funny that you mention this, I just came across an article about a study that shows that women with their husband's last name or hyphenated last name are judged as being more traditionally feminine. The study has its limitations though, including a small sample size and that it used university students, meaning the results can't really be generalized. Still interesting though.
Yeah I read that article this week. I don't think the results are valid though, too much bias in there.
However, I am traditionally feminine and very proud of that. 
Just saw your last post - yeah, I can understand why women would say that re: "grandmas had to, why should I" opinion. And that reminds me of yet another blog I read yesterday that might help gain some perspective:
"Here's the thing with name-changing upon marriage: It is a patriarchal act. Find the definition to the word patriarchy and you'll see what I mean. It's not necessarily a sexist act, but it is patriarchal.
Am I dissing women who choose to change their names? Absolutely not. My mother did, almost all the women in my family did, and the majority of my friends (including many of those who identify as feminists) either already have changed their names, or they plan on doing so if/when they ever get married. That's fine. That is THEIR CHOICE. It's not one I will personally make, ever, because I feel a pretty strong connection to my last name and I know that's not the case for everyone. For me, changing my name would be like changing my identity. It would be a pretty inconsiderate thing for any man to ask of me.
Again, it's not like that for every woman. To each her own. But for some women, because our names mean something to us (or for any multitude of other reasons), we don't want to connect with the patriarchy THAT WAY.
I think that many of us feminist women have certain patriarchal/sexist traditions we're willing to participate in, and other patriarchal/sexist traditions we'd rather ignore or subvert. For instance, I don't want to change my name, but on my wedding day I'd probably want my dad to walk me down the aisle. That's because of the particular bond that my dad and I share, the nature of our relationship and what he means to me. However, I'm fully conscious of the fact that this is an act steeped in a patriarchal history. I'm willing to look past that, even though I know other feminist women would be appalled at the thought of participating in this type of ceremonial patriarchy. I hope these women wouldn't judge my choice, just as I don't judge women who take their husbands' last names, but I digress. We all have our limits and definitions on how to balance feminist/womanist sensibilities with living in a patriarchal society."
I should add that I don't necessarily think that choosing to change one's last name to your husband's last name means that one is "connecting with the patriarchy." I just liked this person's explanation of her own choices and of being non-judgemental towards anyone else's choices, whatever they might be.
I like the way that she expressed her opinion, I agree with that.
For most of us, our names are our father's name though.. so it's still patriarchal to keep it! ;)
But I don't want to bring on a debate here!
I think a lot can be said for how convenient it is to have the same name as your husband. It lets everyone know you are related.
What do Canadian (and other women who don't take their husband's name) women do about their children's last names? That's a big factor for me. I don't want a ridiculously long name, and I don't want my children to have a ridiculously long last name, and I don't see how it's any less patriarchal to keep your maiden name but give your children only the father's last name. I originally thought I'd have my husband and me pick out a new last name and change ours together, but I LIKE FI's last name with my first name, whereas I always thought mine was awkward. Plus, he's very attached to his last name. That + simplicity is why I'm taking my husband's name...has nothing to do with being subservient to him or anything. I think there are a wide range of reasons women take their husband's last name these days and it's not like they're coerced into it by antiquated and sexist laws. Their decisions should be respected.
Canada is fairly split. Generally, in the more English-speaking provinces people are more likely to take their hubby's name, and in Quebec they HAVE TO keep their own name. I stayed in Quebec for a while and the names for the kids were chaos. There were four kids in the family I stayed with, and they all had different last names (ie: Boucher, Moreau, Boucher-Moreau, and B-Moreau). They said that some churches would let you turn one name into an initial, some insisted in hyphenating, etc. Very confusing. That family was a big factor in my decision to take my FIs name once we're married.
ETA: Those are example names, but arranged the same way as the kids had.
i am soooo dreading changing my last name.. i know that i will, only because it means so much to my fiance and he's such a giving and selfless man who keeps making compromises--that i can't be stubborn about this.. but every time i think about it, i get a little sad.. i love my last name!
"What do Canadian (and other women who don't take their husband's name) women do about their children's last names?"
In Puerto Rico (and many Latin America countries) everyone has two last names and no one changes last name upon marriage. Kids get a last name from each of their parents, the first one which is called "apellido paterno" (and it's usually the primary last name).
Example:
Maria Rodriguez Smith marries James Jones Perez
Maria and James have two kids, Miguel and Susan. Their full names are Miguel Jones Rodriguez and Susan Jones Rodriguez. Their family name is the Jones Rodriguez family.
Flash forward twenty or thirty years and Miguel and Susan are marrying other people and having kids of their own:
Miguel Jones Rodriguez marries Molly Gonzalez Baker and have a kid named Jamie Jones Gonzalez. Their family name is the Jones Gonzalez family.
Susan Jones Rodriguez marries Samuel Martin Munoz and have a kid named Sydney Martin Jones. Their family name is the Martin Jones family.
It's really not complicated at all once you're used to it.
Here in the US, since there's no tradition attached to how multiple last names are passed down, a couple could easily choose which names they want to pass down based on how the names sound together, or what the initials spell out, or how high/low they want the kid to be in an alphabetical list, or whatever other option they want.
Edit -- Wanted to add that I kept my two last names when I got married, and if my husband and I ever have kids we're most likely going to do the last name thing I described above, KidName HisLast-MyFirstLast. The hyphen is added to prevent confusion here. I added a hyphen between my two last names when I moved to the US to make people stop assuming my first last name was a middle name.
Incidentally, since we got married in PR and there all legal documents need to have two last names, my husband's name in the marriage certificate shows up as [FirstName] [LastName] [His Mother's Maiden Name], because they wouldn't process the paperwork with just FirstName LastName for him. Which was quite odd if I may say so myself, I wasn't expecting them to require him to have two last names in the paperwork.
azula, thanks for the explanation, I totally knew that too and just forgot about it, duh--I had four years of Spanish in high school and that's one of those things they teach you in Spanish 1. So, that tradition still makes it so that it's fathers' names who get passed down, which still seems paternalistic. And of course couples who don't use the husband's last name can name their kids whatever they want, but it just makes it a lot less simplistic and harder to record and trace back genealogy and stuff, and isn't there something nice about sharing your name with everyone in your immediate family?
Yes, it still is a paternal line system, in that in a few generations the second last name (which comes from the mother's side) gets lost. However, since everyone keeps their birth names throughout their entire life, it makes genealogy incredibly easy. I was able to trace my family tree back to some of my great-great-grandparents who came from Spain when I was in high school this way.
I have heard that in Portugal the system is similar but it's the second last name that gets passed down. I can't vouch for that being true though because I've never explored the matter any further than hearing about this a few years ago from someone and finding it interesting in passing.
As for your comment of "isn't there something nice about sharing your name with everyone in your immediate family", well, I grew up in a family where my mom had two last names and my dad had two different last names and I had one last name from each of them. All my friends growing up were in the same exact situation. My entire home nation worked like that. Therefore, I see nothing strange about families with different last names. In fact, I remember being young and watching dubbed episodes of The Simpsons and being completely weirded out at the fact that Marge had the same last name as Homer. I thought they were brother and sister for a long time. Eventually I got it though, probably after seeing one of those flashback episodes where she's still called Marge Bouvier. It still confused me though, since I didn't understand why she changed her name.
I obviously don't think there's anything strange about a family not sharing the same last name, since millions if not billions of families don't (not familiar with other countries' naming customs but I imagine many if not most aren't like the American custom), but that, at least as someone born and raised in America, I find it nice, and I'm sure many other Americans do as well. It clearly marks you, your husband, and your children as a family unit and is traditional in America. I find it 'nice' in my cultural context. And I'm sure it's pretty easy to do genealogical research in a place like PR where there's one other dominant tradition. But a sort of naming anarchy, which is what your first post hinted at, where couples just name their children and themselves however they wish, sounds like it could get a little nuts.
Yeah, I can understand how growing up in a culture where families (mom/dad/kids) usually share a common last name results in that system making sense to you. Every person is a product of their culture, and since your cultural background includes single-surname family units, then it's obvious that this is what makes most sense to you and what feels most natural and nice. To me it's different, of course, since I grew up in a different culture, but I understand the perspective.
Im not nervous about chaning my last name.. as far as FB goes.. ill have my name... my maiden name.. and my new last name.. All my friends can still know it s me and if someone wants to find me they still can..
RE: what Canadians do for the children's last name.
Michellemybelle was right about the difference between English Canadians and French Canadians; however the case described is uncommon... but can happen. Usually, people will either give the father's name or hyphenate. Hyphenating was very, very common at some point, I think our parent's generation. Our generation seems to be tired of long names and go back to only one name, sometime the mother's name.
Unlike in PuertoRico, one that has a hyphenated name have issues giving just one of their names to their children. I have a couple of friends who are going through this issue right now. The guy has a hyphenated last name, and the girl wants their kids to have just one of these last names. The guy doesn't want that because, his full last name is his identity, the kids wouldn't have either the father or the mother's name; and he has issues with deciding which name he'll give, since rejecting one name means one of his parent's name - how would he able to do this without hurting one of his (divorced and not getting along) parents feelings?
Funny story about hyphenating.. In the French Canadian culture, we don't use middle names. I mean, we're baptized with them, but it's not a name the parents choose, it goes like:
Mary- godmother's name - First name - Last name. (for guys it starts with Joseph)
We never use the first two...
So anyway when I decided to take my husband's name, I chose to add his after mine, because my first his last rhyme and it sounds funny. We decided not to hyphenate without thinking it would be an issue, just because "it's prettier". Well turns out that in the English culture where we work and live, the middle name is used, and without the hyphen, people think that my last is actually my middle... and don't use it. So in the end, I'm still called by myfirst hislast, which sounds funny.. Ah well, I'll get used to it!
I've changed my name everywhere except fb. People, especially family members (on both sides) have given me a hard time for it. Mainly I'm not changing it on there for future work reasons. I don't really get why it matters so much, it's not like fb is a "legal" place.
Girl you could change your name to Bananahammock on facebook if you wanted to, so don't sweat the facebook changing aspect. As for your community judging you for changing your name? Angry Whitney says "Kiss my A$$!"
whitney.jpg (13.6 KB, 33 downloads) 2 years old 
I'm changing my name, and on fbook having first name, maiden, then last. I'm going to have one loooong name lol
I can't believe I never knew this about French Canadians! Very interesting.
@Melissabegins - When my fiance found out that when I change my name I could technically change it to anything I want, he begged me to change my name to Princess Consuela Bannanahammock 
facebook was the first place i changed my name. my husband said i should keep my maiden name on there too so people can find me... but i didn't want to because it's not my name anymore. i think it was helpful to change it there b/c it helps people remember that you changed it, my friends who i've known my life are just used to calling me by my maiden name so they still do.
Ok, it's done!!
I just hope I don't get any comments on it! I don't like getting attention, so if people ask, I hope they PM me and not on my wall... cross your fingers for me!
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Ok, so I'm changing my name everywhere now.. IDs are coming, everything at work has been changed. Since I only added his name to mine, I didn't change my email addresses because it's more convenient this way, but I managed to arrange my settings so that when someone receives an email from me, my whole name comes up.
But... I feel kinda weird changing it on Facebook.... People here do not change their names a lot, and I get judged for it.. Many don't take it seriously and kinda laugh when using the whole name. Makes me a little nervous.
Anyone else feels nervous about this?