(Closed) Name change regret?

posted 7 years ago in Names
Post # 3
Member
1297 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

Tell him how you feel–that’s the best advice I could give you =( 

Maybe you can add your last name back and hyphen it with his?

I’m not yet decided on what I am going to do.  My sister & I are the last people with my family name so once we marry and if we change our last names it will be gone, forever =(  My fi knows how I feel about it, and so I may consider hyphenating it.

Post # 5
Member
494 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

make your maiden name your middle name…you can still take his last name and have yours as well!

Post # 6
Member
2250 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2017

@dillpickle46: that is what I did! No regrets here!

Post # 7
Member
65 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

That’s what I’m doing too!

Post # 8
Member
265 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

In the end, it’s YOUR name, YOUR choice. If you feel strongly that you want to keep your name, please do it. You shouldn’t let your fiance make this choice; this is not a compromise situation. Of course you can ask his opinion, but honestly, will he stop loving you if you keep your name? Of course not! So if that’s what would make you happy, do it. 

There are plenty of other places you’ll need to compromise in your marriage, but this is something that ONLY affects you. Maybe your fiance has an opinion, but it’s not as important as yours. It’s your name, it’s part of who you are. You want your own name, so keep it! 

 

🙂 I hope you can overcome the pressure (societal and from your FI) to take his name and keep yours. It really sounds like you want to keep it.

Post # 9
Member
2695 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2008

@dillpickle46: that is what I did too.  I got married at 31 and had my name fairly well established career wise, and am overally quite independent, but I honestly love that we have the same name 🙂

@clumsy – not sure what the legalities are now if you don’t change it in other places – you should probably go down and get some answers.  I did have a friend whose husband really wanted her to  change her name, and he had compromised on a number of other things, so in the end she did too.  i think it is ok to do this for your FI but only if you ultimately are comfortable with it.  good luck!

Post # 10
Member
3098 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2009

I’m not changing mine, I don’t think. At least not immediately. Maybe one day, if I feel like it.

Post # 11
Member
1023 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I was hesitant to change my name and in the end decided not to. I’m very happy with my choice. Like previously mentioned, it is also my opinion that the name change is completely YOUR decision. IMO it is very controlling to try to tell a person what name they should go by. Do what you want.

Post # 12
Member
96 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

I don’t plan to change my name… My FI did try to convince me to change to his last name but I insisted on keeping mine and gave him the reasons why. He respects my decision and hasn’t asked me about it ever since.

Post # 14
Member
1701 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I am 41 and have had my name a long time now.  It is Italian and unique (if someone calls and mispronounces it, I know they are a telemarkerter!).  I am also very established in my career.  However, I really feel very strongly about families having the same name.  Therefore, I am keeping my name legally–marriage certificate, bank, credit cards, etc.  I am using his name socially.  As far as our families and friends are concerned, it will be changed.  If down the road that is too confusing, I have no freakin’ idea what I’ll do next:)

If you change it legally–you’ve got to change everything.  You can’t have one name on your marriage certificate and another elsewhere.

Post # 15
Member
383 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2011

I’m lucky in so much that Latinos just basically add the name to the end. I’m sorry to see you in such a harsh situation. I have a friend who changed the name legally, etc… but still goes by her maiden name on all business correspondence, emails, etc. Would that be an option?

Post # 16
Member
333 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

DH really wanted me to take his.  I really wanted to keep mine – my sister and our two female cousins are the last ones to have it, so it’s on the way out!  We finally agreed that I would hyphenate it, but that if we had a son we’d use it as his first name, and I would change my name again.

 

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