Post # 1
I told my FI that I planned to change my name to his but I am having big second thoughts about this and I regret having said that I would do it.
Personally I don’t want the hassle of doing it, and as time goes on it seems less likely that we will have children, and I had thought if we had children, it would be nice if we all had the same last name. But if not, I see less of a need.
Also when you’re older and have had your name for so long, it feels weird to change it. I don’t want to do the hyphenating or 2 name thing because I feel like it would be too long and complicated.
Does anyone have any opinions on this. Any bees who changed their name and regretted it, or didn’t regret it? Particularly if you didn’t have any kids?
Post # 3
I just got married 5 months ago and was able to change my name on everything rather quickly. I never told my hubby that i would, i just thought, like you said, when we have kids its nice that we have one last name. It really should be your decision. Maybe you should speak to your FI and tell him how you feel, he might agree with you in not changing your name. I don’t regret it.
Good luck :))
Post # 4
Changed my name, childless by choice and loving it! Wasn’t so hard to switch and it’s been five years, I just wanted to be on the same team….to me it was a no brainer, but you gotta do what works for you!
Post # 5
Thank you ladies! This is very helpful!
Post # 6
Do what feels right to you.
I did not change my name, after always kinda assuming that I would. I definitely don’t regret my decision, and I don’t feel any less married or anything crazy like that.
Post # 7
I had these same name change issues, and that’s how I ended up hyphanating. Our children will have his last name, i really don’t have a problem if someone calls me Mrs. Hislastname. But I still retained my last name, and I still have that conection to my past and my family.
Yes, the most anoying thing has been the name change game. (especially since I didn’t want to do any name changes at first!) I wanted him to come with me for all of the name changes, but the brat got sent out of state for a few weeks for work, and I would rather get this done sooner rather than later.
Post # 8
I opted not to change my name and i am so glad I didn’t. I don’t mind being called Mrs. Hislastname… but to me I will always be me. I have no desire to lose my identity… so I chose to keep my name. You need to do what is best for you, only you know what will work for you. Best thing to do is wait… no need to hurry… see how you feel in a few mohts/year.
Post # 9
part of what complicates this for me is that my engagement ring is a family heirloom–belonged to FI’s grandmother. that made me feel a little more like i should change it.
my fi had asked me if i planned to change my name and i said yes. he had said he would like it if i did, but that it wasn’t a deal breaker if i didn’t. i just feel bad becase i said i would and now i am having the second thoughts. i hate when that happens!