Post # 1
Hey Hive…got a question for you that’s probably been asked a million times, but…
My husband received a wedding invite from one of his best friends (who is a woman) the other day but I wasn’t on the invite. Like, it wasn’t addressed “Mr. and Mrs. andreaandchinelo” just “Chinelo…”. I looked inside the invite thinking “well maybe they put the names inside the invite to clear things up”…nothing. I asked my husband to ask his friend whether or not I was invited and he said he’ll do it, but i’m kinda left wondering WTH? especially since we invited them to our wedding so it’s not like she doesn’t know he’s married AND i’m missing out on one of my friends weddings that’s the same day to “maybe” go to this one…
I guess I would just think if his friend was a man, “okay he probably wouldn’t know etiquette when it came to who to invite”…but a woman? who I’ve met multiple times? who came to our wedding just a couple of months ago? really?
What do you think…was it an honest mistake?
Post # 3
Maybe they were just putting the last name on the outer envelope? That so isn’t cool for them to invite your husband and not you!
Post # 4
Maybe don’t sweat this one – you go to your friend’s wedding, your husband can go to his friend’s wedding….everyone wins!
Post # 5
Hmmmmmmmm, I am fairly confident that if your name is not on the envelope, then you are not invited;however, if this is one of your husband’s “good friends” then, if it were me, I would feel terribly slighted, too! Even if your husband asks, it’s going to be awkward, imo.
Maybe he should just go with you to your friend’s wedding…
Post # 6
Ugh…don’t even get me started on how we chose to go to his friends wedding instead of my friend (my friend’s is a destination wedding in DR…and all payments are due next week 🙁 his friends is about a hour away…i.e. cheaper)
but alas, that’s what we decided…but like @Josh’sGirl said…i’m pretty sure not having my name on the invite would mean i’m not invited…so now we have to do the awkward “are we?” to them and they decide whether or not to say yes or no…
I really feel like it’s not a mistake…to address an invite it would read Mr. and Mrs. HisFirstName HisLastName…so since she knows him why would there ever be any confusion unless I wasn’t invited?
Post # 7
He should definitely either ask them, or put your name on the reply card and let them do the initiating. It’s totally inappropriate to invite one half of a married couple. It sounds like you invited her fiance to your wedding, so it makes it even more strange. I hope it all works out.
Post # 8
You should definitely ask the couple about whether you’re invited before you make any plans to attend the wedding. However, if they say that only your husband is invited, I would tell them politely that you can’t attend. It’s very bad etiquette to not invite both spouses, and your husband shouldn’t feel obligated to go if they’re not inviting you. I would not reply with your name on the reply card, however, because that’s also rude.
Post # 9
@Briana…we did…we invited both of them to our wedding…that’s why i’m kinda like really? and @lili the reason why i’m having him ask is because when I looked inside the invite for our names and nothing was there, I was like well I can’t send the reply card back because we don’t really know who’s invited…my husband thinks it’s just a simple mistake so he’s real nonchalant about it, but part of me is like women (I know it’s extremely general) don’t usually make mistakes like that, especially someone who i’ve known through him for awhile…
Post # 10
This could also be a misunderstanding. Did your husband’s friend know that you had another wedding to attend that day (he could have mentioned it in passing), so they assumed that only your husband would be free to attend? I hope this is the reason, so that you don’t have hurt feelings.
Post # 11
That is bizarre! I agree with you that generally women would not just mistakenly overlook a spouse! I hope its is just an error!
Post # 12
@neontl…I understand where you are coming from, but even if he did mention the other wedding in passing, I wouldn’t understand why you would “omit” someone…I would think even if you knew someone “might not” come to your wedding, you would list them on the invite just for the sake of etiquette and them changing their mind…
I think i’m also a little “salty” that my friend sent her invites a long time ago and we could have possibly budgeted for her wedding but since both STD were sent to our house around the same time and we realized they were on the same date, we decided not to go to the one in DR…now to find out that I might not be invited kinda makes me mad that we decided so quickly not to go to her wedding…
Post # 13
- Wedding: June 2010 - Ceremony - First United Methodist Church; Reception - My parents' house!
I’m hoping/thinking it was just a mistake. Surely she wouldn’t invite only half of a married couple, unless there were some knock-down-drag-out-weird-fight situation.
Post # 14
Do you know anything about their guest list? (Like, is it a teeny tiny wedding?) I ask because recently my fiance was best man in a wedding and I wasn’t invited…and one of the groomsmen’s wife wasn’t invited either. However, it was a super super tiny DW in Mexico where they rented out a house that only had space for a certain number of people. It kind of sucked, both guys weren’t too happy about it, but they had to be understanding because of how small and intimate the couple wanted the wedding.
It doesn’t sound like that is the case, but finding out more about their wedding might be informative as to why they might not have included you…
Post # 15
I think you may be getting a little worked up over something small, which is understandable considering it sounds like you’re not too happy to be missing your friends wedding in the first place. The same situation happened to me last summer. We sent our STD’s to my husband’s friends with both their names, but when we got their wedding invitation a few months later, it didn’t include my name. He was sure I was invited, but I made him call just in case. His friend answered with a resounding, “Well, duh!”.
Have your husband call his friend. I seriously doubt that anyone would invite a friend, but not that friend’s wife – especially if they just went to your wedding. I can’t say I understand the mis-addressing of the invitation (I never figured out why they didn’t include my name, but I didn’t really care), but it sounds like a mistake and not something personal.
Post # 16
Well let us know how it works out. I hope it was just a weirdo mistake. I know that if this happened to me, and we found out I wasn’t invited, we wouldn’t be attending!