Name Regret

posted 2 weeks ago in Babies
Post # 32
Member
218 posts
Helper bee

I’m not speaking of own children here, but I hated the names my BIL and my sister gave their daughters. What should I say, I love the girls and see them at least once a week, but I still hate their names five and six years later. 

Post # 33
Member
349 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2017 - Combermere Abbey

I need to know this name…

Post # 34
Member
3908 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

Pinkmimosas :  I’m confused. If you get to pick the first name and DH picks the middle name, then I’m not sure why you chose a name that you hated? Change his name to what you love. No, you will never magically love his name, so it’s important to choose one that doesn’t make you cringe or one that doesn’t encourage you to use a nickname for the rest of his life. Because now on the second child, DH is going to pick the first name and you’ll kind of be out of the loop on that as well. 

Other posters are saying this may be your second child? Either way, my suggestion is the same: Tell DH you are sorry, but you hate the name and it isn’t going to change. Ask to brainstorm new names together and choose one you both love. Unfortunately, with this agreement, one person seems like they are always going to be on the outs. 

Post # 35
Member
221 posts
Helper bee

MrsMeowton :  this is their second child. The first one she got to name, and this is the second so her husband got to name this baby. I was confused at first too 

Post # 36
Member
731 posts
Busy bee

I agree it’s really hard to give advice without knowing the name.  

I would try to look at it obvjectively.  Is the name really that bad, or is it a name you’re not fond of?  Unless the baby’s name is Adolf Hitler or named after one of the 9/11 terrorists, I’m betting it’s a fine name.

There’s names I don’t like because I associate them with people I don’t like.  Is that what you’re doing?

It does sound like there is some post partum hormones in play.  I understand the deal you made with your husband.  I know a lot of families that did that, mine and my FI’s included.  I’m not crazy about my name but that’s what my dad chose for me and he loved it.  My FI is named after his dad and when he was growing up, his mom usually called him by his middle name to avoid the confusion of Big X vs Little X.  Does your husband even know how you feel about this name?

I think at this point you should go with the flow.  I’m also betting your husband didn’t pick a name on purpose that you hated.  There has to be a reason he chose it.

Post # 37
Member
1087 posts
Bumble bee

Pinkmimosas :  Have you talked to your husband about this yet? You both loved the name for your first child, so it was easy. Despite your ‘agreement’, the name for your baby is not working out.

Also, I would not post the name here. You’re upset enough about it without the replies that would probably fall into two camps:

1. OMG you’re right that name is awful!

2. OMG you’re being silly and it’s a great name!

Either response is going to make you feel even worse.

I hope you can work this out with your husband.

Post # 38
Member
290 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2017

NAME PLEASE! I mean I have a coworker who wants to name his son Anush (ay-nish). I told him please NO. Clearly we all know everyone is going to call him Anus! Please tell us this name. 

Post # 39
Member
1130 posts
Bumble bee

I wouldn’t be surprised if you posted the name here and alot of Bee’s loved it. Might make you feel more confident in it

Post # 40
Member
556 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2018

DoubleD :  wow you were incredibly rude to your co-worker.

Post # 41
Member
415 posts
Helper bee

zzar45 :  I was wondering the same.

DoubleD :  Please tell me you didn’t say that to him. It’s a very common Indian name and is actually pronounced differently.

Post # 42
Member
461 posts
Helper bee

How bad is the name? Please tell us what it is!

But anyway, it was awfully selfish of your DH to choose a name you obviously hate this much, you two need to have a talk and you will definately need to change the name! 

What was his second, or third  name choice? Were they all equally horrible or could you learn to love any of them? Otherwise you will need to come up with something together cause you can’t have it like this.

 

I am so mad at your DH right now. 😠

Post # 43
Member
500 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2017

The fact that you keep calling him by the name YOU like tells me it’s probably not about the name your DH picked and more about you wanting to choose the name again.  

I don’t think it’s fair to call him by the name you prefer either as you mention that your husband doesn’t like that name.  You shouldn’t have agreed to the name if you had such a big problem with it.  It would also help to understand the reasoning behind your husbands choice?

 

Post # 44
Member
290 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2017

zzar45 :  chill out. He doesn’t have a kid or close to having one. He’s waiting until he gets married next year to even have sex. He is a jokester guy that talks shit (in a joking way) and we were discussing names we would name our kid and he JOKINGLY said he wanted to name his son that and we laughed and he said mg FI said HELL NO PEOPLE WILL CALL HIM ANUS. I agreed and he continued to say I know can you imagine  a big Irish red head (describing his future son like himself) with the name Anush? Yall jump so fast to judge like damn. There’s your back story.  I would NEVER say oh that’s  a horrible name to someone who announced their child’s name. Never have because yes it’s rude but seeing as how yall dont know him or the circumstances in which the conversation went, stop being so ready to judge a very small portion of what you know. And I went to school with an Indian boy name Anass (uh-nas) and everyone called him  An ass! I watched him cry several times in elementary school as we don’t hear that commonly in American culture.  So feel free to name your child that. Nobody’s judging. 

Post # 45
Member
7870 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

I would really need to know how “bad” this name is before making a comment. Like you just don’t personally like it? Or is it some totally off the wall, ridiculously horrible name he’ll be teased for the rest of his life?

I honestly don’t love dd’s name and I had a hard time actually using it when she was little. I still cringe a little inside when people are like “her name is…what?” DH absolutely loved it though, and it does suit her now at 2. It’s really not difficult to say or spell, just unusual.

I’m not sure it’s fair to your DH to try and make him change the name. It sounds like he absolutely loves this name just as much as you love the other name you wanted to use.

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