Post # 1
We are watching our friends starting to have babies, and the stress and emotions that come with it, and I suggested to my DH that when our time comes, we invest in a nanny a few days a week (or even just one!) so we can catch up on sleep and not stress our marriage, or our parents etc. I priced it out and its not very expensive at all. In response DH asked if this is such a great idea why more people don’t do it? I could only guess that its a cost thing or not trusting someone with your child. Are there other things I am missing?
We have decided that I will have to return to work after birth, (I wish I could be a SAHM) and the idea of being able to spend quality time (as opposed to quantity) with my child, not resenting it for my lack of sleep and stress seems like a good idea, I might be missing something.
So, real moms, or anyone else, what are your thoughts?
Post # 3
@edgebee: I’ve worked as a nanny. I think it can be a great supplemental help, however, you should compensate well. Newborns are tough and they require experience and nannies should be paid accordingly. You are trusting them with your child. Ask for references. Have a contract that states duties you expect: laundry? cooking? Don’t just assume things. Being on the same page and making sure your nanny feels appreciated is key to having a stress-free nanny experience. Personally I would love to spend a couple weeks helping a new mom out!
Post # 4
honestly, I found the first few weeks boring…. yes you had to get up a few times in the night, but they sleep for like 18 hours altogether. My husband and i invested in a few good movies and that was our best advice.
Post # 5
This would be a money thing for me, and just the simple fact of wanting to be able to handle things myself, even if that’s a crazy thing to try and accomplish 😉
Post # 6
I think in the beginning newborns sleep A LOT so there isn’t really a need for this. Plus, while people do go back to work after having a baby, it seems odd to want to pass off the mothering duties so soon. I think most people cherish that maternity leave time with their new babies, and after becoming a parent you would not resent your own child (who is not an IT) for not sleeping through the night.
Post # 7
@edgebee: we would have had no use for a nanny in the first few months. especially breastfeeding, not sure if you will be doing so or not.
The first few months LO just ate and slept and cuddled and slept. I wouldn’t have wanted someone else there for those first precious moments. And because she slept so much I overhauled my yard, redecorated/wallpapered the guest room, painted the living room and bedroom, had a spotless house, threw my SO a ridiculous 30th birthday party, and started writing a book.
i wouldn’t mind one now that she’s 3 though 😉
Post # 8
@edgebee: its quite common here where i live in mexico, esp for middle class. though to be fair, cleaning service/help in the house ise reasonably common so its not a giant leap to have child care
i dont seem why not, either having someone help with the baby or just take care of the chores for first few weeks so you can concentrate on the baby
Post # 9
Being that to be on maternity leave (short term disability), I would only receive 60% of my salary, hiring a caretaker is not financially feasible. If it was, I can imagine wanting help one or two days a week, but not full-time.
Post # 10
@MrsTVLover: I agree. What would be so difficult that, between 2 of you, you cannot handle? I wouldnt want a nanny that quickly for my newborn.
Post # 11
When is the most stressful time then? Or a time when a nanny would be of more use? I am trying to work out a budget and timeline (we plan, God laughs, right?) but I need the advice of some experienced moms!
I am sure our moms would help, but I don’t want to overburden them or give a schedule or anything.
Post # 12
Newborns sleep a lot so I really don’t see why it would be hard for me and my DH to handle. And really, even if it was, I’d rather be the one taking care of my child and learning the ropes of the best way to do things. Hiring a nanny right off the bat holds zero appeal to me.
Post # 13
@edgebee: are you planning to breastfeed? If so the nanny can’t feed your child. I have a 2 month old so this is fresh in my mind. We could afford the help but I definitely would not want it! The first few weeks of my DDs life were a chance for DH and I to figure things out and get to know our baby on our own. Also my boobs were out constantly the first few days. I will be a SAHM but will have family or pay a regular babysitter to get out once a week or so on my own. Having babies is hard but you’ll get through it! Also I don’resent my baby at all for causing stress or loss of sleep. I love her too much! You’ll understand when you’re a parent and priorities change. Good luck!
Post # 14
I guess I am trying to figure out when I’d need one, so that I could potentially interview and have one lined up. I thought after birth would be the difficult time, but it sounds from other posters that maybe waiting until I go back to work is better.
Post # 15
I wouldn’t want someone else interfering in those first few weeks while i’m figuring stuff out. You have to breastfeed every couple of hours, too – it would be hard to pump enough extra at those intervals to make enough for a nanny to take over.
I WOULD get a maid and possibly pay someone to grocery shop and run errends if it made the budget, though!!
Post # 16
@edgebee: this is really too hard to say each baby is so different.
With my first it was so easy because he was such a great baby. We were out and about from 1 week. I loved it and enjoyed every moment.
My second child was a nightmare screamed day and night from reflux. This is when a nanny would have been fantastic help. I would have loved to have a nanny for about a month and it would have been worth it however it wasn’t possible for us.