Post # 1
While venue shopping, my mother gave me the impression that from our side of the family we would have about 30-40 and FI’s mother said about the same. I ended up picking a place that had a min guarantee of 85 and a max capacity of 150 and assumed that we would have about 100 people. Now, I’m kicking myself for not having a set list at that time.
My father sent me a list of 44 addresses, which would work out to around 80 people. FI’s parents worked up a list of about 53, not including themselves or his brothers. Our list is over 35 before giving singles +1’s. A majority of our friends are single…
I already told my parents that their list needs to be cut, their only request was to have the rest of the list complete before doing so… Even though, I have been told over and over again that many of the out of towner’s will not come… And while I expect to have “NO’s” I have no clue how many that will be. I fear that we will end up over our max number.
How many people past your max capacity are you inviting? And What is your criteria for cutting the list?
Post # 3
I had this issue with my mom. While at the venue and seeing how small it was my mom said, “no problem, we just won’t invite a lot of people.” And then she gave me a huge list! I just had to be firm (which is when she called me a bridezilla) and say that she could only have that certain number of people. She also tried telling me that people won’t come, but I wasn’t ok with that, it’s way too stressful for me! We finally agreed that those people who wouldn’t come anyway got an announcement instead.
Post # 4
I wouldn’t go over your max capacity at all, just in case.
DH and I decided to cut people out that the other had never met. If you weren’t important enough to have met the DH before the day he became DH, then more than likely you don’t need to attend my wedding. We did allow for some out of state family members to not meet these requirements, but that was it. It was the only rule we needed. We then comfortably fit into our goal number.
Post # 5
We didn’t go over our max capacity.
I only invited people DH and I knew well and/or had a current relationship with. All others were cut. If you aren’t close to those out of town people, consider sending them an announcement instead of an invite
Post # 6
My mother thought she was going to invite 300 people just herself and my MIL who wasn’t contributing a single dime was going to invite another 120. This was before DH and I even made our list. We ended up inviting 260 (this include 30 people with +1’s so technically invited 230) and ended up with 210 at our wedding. What we did was decided DH and I were going to make a list and then sit down with each of our parents individually and cross reference. Whoever we didn’t have on our list it was a requirement that both DH and I knew who they were. This helped eliminate a lot of people and since we were together for 5 yrs before getting married it was save to ay if the other person didn’t know who they were in 5 yrs then they couldn’t have been that important.
Post # 7
I regards to max capacity our ballroom held 500 so we didn’t have to worry about that. But none of our singles brought a plus one however they did write thank you notes for allowing them to bring someone if they wanted. But we had a 90% attendance rate.
Post # 8
We’ve invited 111 people for a venue with a max capacity of 100. I’m a little stressed about it!
Post # 9
We invited a bit over 160 and it looks like we’ll have around 100. I knew that a ton of our relatives wouldn’t be able to come out here so I was pretty certain of about 30 no’s
Our wedding is only 9 days away and I still have my mom saying “Oh did we invite X or Y?” “No, mom they weren’t on your list.” “Oh, wow, well, suppose we can’t do anything now.” lol
Maybe you can ask some of your friends to come “together” if they know each other instead of bringing a separate +1. I have a couple friends who are doing that.
And don’t invite anyway who you really don’t know. Just because they are friends of your parents doesn’t mean they should be at your wedding.
I personally wouldn’t go more than 20 over my venues max.
Post # 10
we invited our max and decided if we had too few people we would invite in town friends since they already know about it but know about our capacity issues. they are all fine with being b listed though lol
Post # 11
We do have a couple groups of friends who would probably be fine without +1’s as they all know each, but don’t hang out often. Our other friends are either in relationships or will get +1’s due to them not knowing too many people. I don’t believe my parents added anyone that I don’t know, but that’s not to say that I have seen them recently or that FI has met them, including 1st cousins, but those I do plan to invite. I also have a lot of out of towners as far as family goes, who my folks don’t expect to come, but there is no way to determine a number.
What about people you aren’t too fond of? Not blood relatives, but people you do see frequently?
Post # 12
We had the same problem. I only invited 2 people over our max capacity when the first batch went out only because there was no way to cut it anymore. Once we got a good amount of no’s back I sent another batch out. Better safe than sorry!