Weddingbee boards

I have the trashiest, nastiest grandma ever. 

I had my bridal shower today and she was there.  I was sort of upset when I walked in and saw her there because I knew she would start sh*t.  Sure enough..as soon as I sat down she started going on and on about how my wedding didn't have a flowergirl and how I hate children (which is not the case).  I told her 'no it's just that the wedding is late at night, and I didn't want a lot of grumpy children there'.  She says 'no it's because you think they're brats and you hate them'.  OK fine I just ignored it .  She turns to my cousin 'why am I getting mail for you at my house, you're not moving back in are you, I hated it when you lived with me, leaving your crap all over my house'  UGH.  Cousin just goes 'you get mail for me because I used to live there, remember' and gets up and leaves.  Grandma turns back to me 'I don't know why I  even came here, I had to go to the mall and get you a present, that's the last time in hell I will ever do that again'.  Nice.  Next, 'you opening presents yet?'.  Um.....shower just started lol.  She continues to ask this ever 10 minutes, even after I tell her, my sister planned this, I don't know the timeline. 

Fast forward to opening presents.  Grandma sees someone's gift to me is a tablecloth (which I registered for btw).  'That's boring, what an awful gift'.  OMG. She sat there critiqing everyoene's gifts to me as boring and unexciting.  Nevermind that her gift was a shirt.  Finally I said "well I guess all the stores were out of crotchless panties" and she says 'Well!' like she's shocked or something lol.  I swear sometimes her crazyness and nastyness makes me laugh but I was really aggrivated at her today, especially because I think she made a lot of my other guests feel bad or uncomfortable. 

I am so horrified about what is going to happen at the wedding.  I just can't even imagine what she might do or say.  She's family but she is seriously just a miserable person to be around. 

PS-my favorite part of the afternoon was when we told her we were waiting on her third daughter "Laurie".  Nasty grandma says "Who is that?" we say 'your third daughter' and she says 'I only have two daughters now'.  Thanks for emptying all your baggage at the bridal shower. 

Sorry, but I had to laugh at some of what your grandma said! I know that's not nice, but it seems like you also have a slight sense of humor about her (sometimes).

I'm sure it's outright embarrassing and exhausting to deal with someone so negative. The bright side is it has nothing to do with you. She's probably so deep in her own misery that she wouldn't know how to be kind and thoughtful if she tried ... though she could swing it if she tried *really* hard.

Could you ask some family members to rotate Grandma-duty at the wedding to keep her away from unsuspecting guests? This way she always has someone to complain to, but no one person is stuck listening to it all night. I'd defintely bribe someone with something REALLY good to make sure Grandma is kept at bay and everyone else can enjoy the wedding!

She's probably pre-dementa and no one has infomred the doctor to do tests.

Ask someone who is NOT family to 'escort' her that day.  Expect to pay as you can't ask guests to give up their party time.  It isn't fair to them.  

Tell her she's going to be picked up so she doesn't have to drive.  The person who drives will stay w/her and take her home.  That way family has fun, and no one has to worry about grandma saying somethng bad.

Do you have someone who you wanted to invite but can't because they were too far removed?  Invite them as a worker, if you feel OK doing that.  They willnot be obligated to give a gift and they will get paid.

Call a local college;  or a church/temple and ask if someone out there wants a day job for 1 day.  Ask the local council on the aging.  They  have alot of volunteers. Someone may want to make a buck.

Your cost will be probably 10 hours x $10.00 plus the cost of gas and a meal.  Well worth it to have a happy day.

This person can call grandma before hand to set up friendship.  There are somethings you can't DIY, there are some things worth paying for.  This is one of them!

You may also have a co worker in the same boat, who wouldn't noramlly invite you to their wedding.  Do a barter.  I watch your grandma ifyou watch mine.  That way there isn't a total stranger at the wedding.

But again, I think grandma's not all there and no one in t he family wants to acknowledge it.  Ask one of her children to get her to a doctor.

@Momma: Um, she's not pre-dementia.  She has been this way since I can remember so....since I was like five years old.  She's just a really mean person who has no sense of when to keep her mouth shut.  that's why everone on that side of the family just rolls their eyes and tries to ignore her, but everyone else....I think they were shocked. 

Everyone: I did have a really great time at the shower, but I was totally embarassed by her behavior.  Thanks for your support!

She sees a doctor all the time because she drank herself into renal failure, so she has to get dialysis. 

Yes I am very lucky to have both my grandmothers alive, plus one grandfather.  I just wish that once in a while grandma could have a little sense of propriety.   

@Bellenga: I was the one who initally posted this.  My comment regarding my grandmother's renal failure was a response to Momma's comment that she is pre-dementia and should see a doctor.  I stated that she is just nasty in general and in regards to seeing a doctor, it is unnecessary because she sees her doctor on a general basis.  It was not insinuating that all people with renal failure had it happen because they drank themselves to it.  This was specifically directed toward my own grandmother, whom this topic is about. 

@Pvaulter; my whole life she has just been a mean and awful person.  If you voice any type of feelings about it, she uses those against you.  She will then twist your words and gossip about you being 'whiny' to everyone else in the family.  but it's not only me she is like this with, it's everyone.