Post # 1
A couple of weeks ago we found out I was pregnant. This week I have had some spotting and cramping so we were monitoring my HCG levels which actually started decreasing. With the impending miscarriage it has me really scarred of how it will feel if I wait for everything to pass naturally.
Just looking for anybodies experiece with either a natural miscarriage vs d&c or medications to induce the miscarriage. I know this a really sensitive subject so I really appreciate anything people are willing to share with me.
Post # 3
I am currently waiting to miscarry naturally. My RE said that it could take up to a month for my body to recognize that it needs to expel the pregnancy. As hard as that is, I know that I could not fathom taking a pill to end it myself. I wouldn’t be able to live with myself. That’s a personal decision, and I’m not against anyone who decides to do that and put it into action. It would be the “easier” and faster way, and that is great for some people. I just know that I wouldn’t be able to do it. It’s not much better knowing that you have a non-viable pregnancy inside of you and just waiting to start bleeding, either. But to me, it is the lesser of the two evils, I suppose.
I’m really sorry to hear that you are going through this. I wish you comfort and peace in the coming weeks.
Post # 4
I’m just curious….Are you talking about abortions, or do you just know you are going to miscarry because your body isn’t able to go through a pregnancy?
This might be silly, but I just wasn’t picking it up in the posts above.
Post # 5
@Candace From BC: When your HCG levels start dropping it almost always means you are going to have a misscarriage. SOmetimes it can take weeks for your body to pass the material on its own so you can take a medication that will induce contractions to help pass the material faster or you can have a procedure called a D & C to remove the tissue. In many cases there is a sac and there was never a pole (which would develpo into a baby in a normal pregnancy). It is not an abortion because there are no living sells. If there were living cells this would be an absolutely different conversation.
ETA: I know you didn’t mean harm but next time maybe google before you ask somebody who has been told they are going to miscarry their baby, if they are talking about getting an abortion.
Post # 6
I had a miscarraige once when I was further along. I had to have a D&C. To be honest, it was the most horrific thing I have ever gone through. It happend about 10 years ago and I am still living with the emotional pain of having it done. IMO I would let it happen naturally. I wish I could have.
Post # 7
First off, I am SO sorry to hear what you are going through. It’s one of the most difficult things a woman could ever face but you WILL get through it. It’ll take some time to heal but it will be ok and you will have another chance at it.
I miscarried this past April at 7 weeks. Same thing happened to me basically. I found out and then within less than a week I was having horrible cramping that just wouldnt stop. It was over a weekend so I just had to suck it up and hang in there till Monday. When I went in they did blood work and saw that my HCG had dropped to 14 and he of course gave me the dreaded news that I would miscarry. I was broken into a million pieces… and the waiting was torture…. it didn’t take long.. maybe 4 days and the process started happening naturally. I will tell you it was painful emotionally and physically but some how it wasnt as bad because I was at home and my body was taking care of it naturally. My opinion is to just let it happen but do whatever is best for you. Also, some women still end up needing a D&C following a natural miscarriage anyway if everything didn’t pass. Usually thats not an issue if you’re pretty early in you’re pregnancy but its always possible. Anyway I am praying for you. If you need to vent or have any questions plase feel free to message me, You WILL get through this, I promise.
Post # 8
@ieatunicorns: Um, sorry if you found that rude, but don’t we all come on WB to ask questions and give advice?! Obviously I wasn’t trying to be rude or I would have worded it differently.
Post # 9
@Candace From BC: Like I said, I realize you don’t understand what a sensitive topis this is, but using the owrd abortion when someone is having a miscarriage is a little insensitive. I would do some rearch on my own if I thought my question might upset someone.
@JennH516: and @Brooke0428: thank you for sharing your experiences with me. I am sure once we know exactly what our plan is I will have more questions.
Post # 10
@ieatunicorns: The first night of passing was by far the worst. It very painfull. In my case I didn’t pass it all so I was sent home to try to pass the rest naturally. My doctor gave me 4 days then scheduled a D&C. It was such a blur and I’m not even sure if I was given and option. I can tell you that for me personally it was a long painful 4 days. I just wanted to get the D&C over with. Once it was done and over with nothing changed. I was still emotional and so very sad. I wanted to believe that the D&C would make EVERYTHING better. It didn’t. There is no easy way to go about it. I am thankfull to have had the medical part done and over with so I could just focus on the emotinal part. That was what was right for me and Fiance.
I send hugs and I hope you’ll find peace soon.
Post # 11
This may be a weird suggestion but when I had miscarried years ago(different situation entirely, I had an IUD and wasn’t TTC) The moment I found out my Dr. gave me pain meds so I wouldn’t have to deal with the pain of it. Granted it won’t help with the emotional pain but there is no reason you have to deal with the physical pain. If I were you I would talk about pain management with your Dr. as for the D&C, when my Mom was TCC she miscarried 3 times before having a sustainable pregnancy, from what she told me the pain was about the same because she still had bleeding and cramping after. Honestly I think miscarrying is like period cramps or labor, it will be different for everyone. For me is wasn’t that bad, for my mom it was heartbreaking agony. I am really sorry this is happening to you by the way, I’m sending mental hugs your way :).
Candace From BC The process of a D&C is similar to that of an abortion, BUT the HUGE difference is that in the case of miscarrying and having medical help is that their are no living cells involved, so it is NOT an abortion. Abortions involve the expelling of living cells intentional, which is obviously not the case since it seems that this woman wanted her baby very much and is extremely torn up about the idea of loosing it. Remember google is your friend.
Post # 12
I would really like to point out that the medical term for
“miscarriage” is “spontaneous abortion”
and I would like to offer my sincere sympathy for the OP during this difficult time, having worked with women experiencing recurrent spontaneous abortions during my time in medical reserach.
Post # 13
Ivorybuttons and the medical term for baby is fetus. The term abortion in the states has really negative feeling surrounding it and while it is the correct medical term I really not seeing the point of pointing it out here.
Post # 14
@ieatunicorns: I am so sorry for everything you are going through. It is an awful situation and I wouldn’t wish it on anyone.
I had a slightly similar situation last year. I got pregnant but didn’t realise it right away as Darling Husband and I weren’t trying. I had just come off BC and didn’t think my usually irregular cycles would return for quite a while. I started getting really terrible cramps all the time and after they went on for two weeks, I finally took a test and got a positive result. We were sent for an ultrasound as the drs didn’t think the cramping was normal. At the u/s, they said I was 5.5 weeks but there was no yolk sac or fetal pole and I was given the same option as you – wait for it to pass naturally or go for the D&C.
Given the amount of pain I had been in and knowing that it could take weeks, I opted for the D&C. I was given a prescription for Tylenol with codeine to get me through the 4 days before the D&C but it didn’t really do much to dull the pain. I was knocked out for the D&C and didn’t feel a thing. As soon as it was over, all of the cramping was gone and I felt a thousand times better. I didn’t have any bleeding or complications after the D&C and the relief I felt from knowing that it was all over was beyond words.
I know it’s an absolutely exruciating choice to make, especially as I know you’ve been wanting this for a long time, but I just wanted to share with you my experience with having a D&C. Knowing the outcome was going to be the same regardless of which route I took, I personally am happy I went with the quicker, painless route. It also helped me adjust emotionally to the idea but I think because I had been in so much pain for more than two weeks, I just wanted it all over as quickly as possible. And because I’d only known I was pregnant for one week from start to finish, I hadn’t really had time to adjust to the idea.
I’m just so sorry for all you are going through. You’ve been in my thoughts since you shared your news the other day. Sending you lots of hugs.
Post # 15
@Ree723: Thank you for sharing as well. How long after the D & C would you say that you bled? Thanks for the recommendation on asking for pain meds, that will definately be one of my questions tomorrow.
Post # 16
@ieatunicorns: I am so sorry you are going through this. I also had a medical D&C performed. I did not have a choice it had to be done. If I could have decide I would not have done it that way. It was a very very difficult time for me. Many years have passed now but it is such a sensitive subject I have only told my closest of friends about it. Sorry you have to go through this