Post # 1
So I’m not sure how to broach this subject in shower/wedding registries. My fiance and I have spent years transitioning our household goods and personal care items over to more safe natural or organic items. That said, we do not force our opinions on our families or try to talk anyone into making the same changes, we politely eat food and drink at other’s homes and pay no mind if it is something different to what we do at home because we just aren’t that uptight about it as its not something we have to do often. However, most of our extended family members find it hilarious to joke about the foods and products we buy and now I am apprehensive to register for things or even have a shower. I can’t drink an organic tea or a green smoothie in the presence of some family members without them going out of their way to point it out and/or call me a hippie or yuppie despite the fact that I have said or done nothing to provoke them.
In both our families typically at bridal showers we have guests bring a cleaning product in exchange for more chances at prizes. I will most likely try to forego this tradition as I would like specific brands now that we’ve changed our products over, and most of the natural cleaners cost a little more than your typical store brands. It sucks because I would love to receive some more of those items as it would save us money, but there are many relatives who would think we are stupid and just buy regular stuff and/or harass me about it at the shower. If I register for new pots and pans, they will be a kind that do not contain teflon, etc., different cotton blends of towels and sheets, and all of those items cost a little more. We already have most of these things in our home and I was adamant about not having a shower to start with, but my mother really wants to have one for me.
So do I just register for what I want, send the thank you notes, and return/donate any items that don’t fit our lifestyle? If my mom wants to word the shower invites about the cleaning products like, “for extra prize tickets please bring a Green Brand cleaning product” is that acceptable?
I feel like we should be able to register for the things we want and will use, but I don’t want to offend people. At the same time I would have no qualms with buying specific things if I knew someone had a preference.
Has anyone faced this with registries? My head spins when I think about how bad it would be to word a baby shower registry, “Please no Parabens!” This is such a first world problem!
This topic was modified 2 years, 10 months ago by Orchid71.
Post # 2
Register for what you want!!! I don’t think it’s offensive at all.
As for the cleaning products, I wouldn’t be offended if the wording on the invite said something like that, but you could also try word of mouth. What I learned from my wedding was that nobody gave a crap what I wrote or where I wrote it…they just did whatever they wanted however they wanted. So the people who harass you will probably bring you whatever cleaning products they could find on clearance at Big Lots and you’ll just have to give those things to others, lol. Don’t be ashamed of wanting to be natural.
Post # 3
“So do I just register for what I want, send the thank you notes, and return/donate any items that don’t fit our lifestyle?”
<br />Yep, that’s exactly the right approach. I would skip the cleaning product tradition, because it’s a little rude to specify a specific brand to give. If you are that worried about people giving you things you won’t use, though, I might recommend just skipping the shower altogether.
Post # 4
If you’re going to register, register for what you want. If they buy you what you don’t want than send a thank you card and exchange it for what you do want.
Post # 5
I registered for only products that I deemed safe and healthy. No plastics at all – items that are stainless steel, cast iron, glass, etc. I’m sure the fact that one place I registered at is called Life Without Plastic is highly amusing to my in-laws, but I don’t want people wasting money on things we wouldn’t actually use. I have chosen wedding items that reflect our values, and I have chosen registry items that do the same. If people want to go off registry, I will be polite, thank them, and either return or donate what I can. I think that is the best solution for everyone!
Post # 6
Thanks, everyone! I’m not sure why it has to be such a big deal with our families, like us making a different personal choice somehow makes everyone else feel attacked.
@Snowmelt: I want to look into this Life Without Plastic place!!
Post # 7
Orchid71: if it’s important to your mom to keep the cleaning product tradition going, maybe say like +1 extra chance for cleaning products +2 if it’s green/organic? That makes it more fun/competitive to me. And I would DEFINITELY register for what you want. Sorry your family gives you a hard time about it.
Post # 8
Orchid71: Register for what you want. For one of my best friends showers, on the slip with the registry information, we included that the bride requested reused, recycled or sustainable wrapping. Did most people listen? No. But we tried.
Post # 9
Totally understandable and I, quite frankly, think what you are doing is awesome. We have tried switching over our household to a “green” home as well. We even put a pretty compost canister on our wedding registry. I think you should do exactly what you mentioned…register for what you want, send thank you cards, and return/donate things you know you won’t use. Good luck!
Post # 10
BohemianButterfly: Thank you! I am so happy to see the positive feedback on here! We have a lot of friends who are into “green” practices but it seems like our families back at home think we are weirdos and that lack of support leading up to our wedding is a little frustrating. I don’t expect them to jump on board and adopt new practices, but it would be nice for them to not criticize us.