Navigating parents' feelings

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 2
2831 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

if he doesn’t offer to pay for the wedding, it’s his perogative. don’t expect anything from him. go ahead with your planning, and plan a wedding you can afford.

Post # 3
2649 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

hohat18:  It’s only been a few weeks! Call him up to say hello and in the course of conversation mention that you’ve found and think you’re ready to book a venue.  Maybe ask if he’s heard of it or ask if he would like to see it.  At that point, the ball is in his court. 

Post # 4
42182 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

hohat18:  How far into her planning was your sister when he offered his financial contribution? As you said, it has only ben a few weeks. It might not even occur to your Dad that you are moving ahead with your planning this fast.

Post # 5
3016 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2014 - Prague

Did your dad have a lot of say in the decisions of your sister’s wedding? As in, did he help choose the venue?

I think you should book the venue you want and let your dad know. If he offered money to your sister he will offer it to you as well. If he doesn’t, I would assume he can’t afford it and not take it personally. 

Post # 6
1533 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

If he remarried between the time that your sister got married and now,  that may explain the change.  He may have financial setbacks.  He may think you have the money to pay, and your sister does not.  There are a lot of reasons he may no longer be offering.  I agree, plan on him not helping. 

Post # 7
5883 posts
Bee Keeper

I can’t imagine any parent being ‘offended’ by not having to pay for a wedding. If anything, I think he’d be happy to know he raised a child who would no longer depend on him financially. Lots of things may have changed for him in the 7 years since your sister’s wedding, so unless and until he offers, I’d plan on doing it all myself.

He already set the stage by saying what he did to your fiance, so I really wouldn’t think he said it in jest.

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