(Closed) Need a gut check!

posted 6 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
8153 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

It does seem a little odd, but if she’s uncomfortable with it then I would just respect her feelings and let it go. She doesn’t need to be bffs with everyone just to stand up in a wedding.

Post # 4
Hostess
23640 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

It does sound a little odd, but if she’s feeling this way, I would probably let it go.  MOHs and BMs don’t have to be the closest of friends, they just have to coexist for your cause.  Sometimes, it’s best to give your girls sufficient time apart where needed, so that drama doesn’t arise.  Have fun at your bachelorette!

Post # 5
Member
3886 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@Westwood:  Yup, exactly. You can’t force people to become friends, and some people feel a bit awkward in certain social settings.  Sleeping in a cabin is a relatively “intimate” setting; when I hear “cabin” I expect that I’ll need to share a room with at least one other person (maybe several) and I personally don’t feel comfortable lounging around in my pajamas with casual acquaintances or strangers, and in all honesty I’d probably do as your MoH wants to do and look for my own accomodations. It doesn’t mean I’m stuck up or don’t want to make new friends; it just means I have a lower tolerance for what feels like being too familiar than others might have.

Post # 6
Member
9552 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

Hm. I agree that’s a little odd. First, is she planning the bach party? If so that’s even odder. Is she one of those people that doesn’t do well with crowds and needs her own space? Is she short on money? Maybe have someone in the party that she has friction with? There are tons of possibilities out there. If it’s important to you that the bridesmaids all get to know each other, I would ask her what her reasons are. If she has valid reasons then you need to respect them. But if it’s just that she can’t afford it, or something like that, maybe you could come up with a solution that will make you both happy. When you talk to her try to be open and nonjudgemental so that she doesn’t get defensive. Good luck!

Post # 7
Member
602 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

it does seem a little bit weird, have you sat down and spoken to her about this?  Maybe she has a vaild reason?  If you’ve spoken to her aleady I think you need to maybe accept her decision, rubbish as it is for you.

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