Post # 1
Hey bees, I’m new to the board and would like some advice on something sort of wedding related…but sort of not! I’ll try to be brief.
I was in physical therapy for about 2 months and really bonded with my therapist while there. We found out that we both actually go to the same church, and really bonded over discussion of God and marriage, etc. Well, she was so excited and said several times she would love to meet my fiance’ and even said that her and her husband would love to meet with us to do a little informal premarital counseling. Well, it’s been about 3 weeks since I was discharged as her patient, and our wedding is in about 3 weeks. I haven’t seen her at church (it’s a pretty big church), and I texted her a couple times (2-3) and she either doesn’t respond, or gives me short answers.
Now, I understand she is busy. She works, has 2 kids and a husband. I get it. However, I was really looking forward to it, and also the counseling. Do you think I should straight up ask her if she can meet with us? Or should I let it go? I’m kind of bummed about it…
Thanks for advice!
Post # 3
I myself would probably let it go…. They may very well not be the right one’s to counsel with you.
If you really want to do something with you fiance along the lines of premarital couseling you could look into this book
Preparing for Marriage
And maybe ask one of your pastors…. since you’re in a larger church there should be either a pastor or someone from their counseling team that would love to do that with you two
EDIT: DH and I used this book along with our Pastor and it was REALLY great! You two could do it through yourselves as well =)
Post # 4
She may have spoken to her husband and he didn’t agree. I’d let it go. Sorry.
Post # 5
What kinds of texts did you send her? Since you have her cell, I’d either call or text and ask if she was still interested in getting together, but if not, you completely understand. Give her a direct request and ‘out’.
I usually tend to think people are too busy and therefore miss out connecting with great people. On the other hand, people are busy and life can be very full.
On a different note, do you think she was wanting an invite and was disappointed to not receive one (if that’s the case).
Post # 6
@amnystik – Thanks for the book suggestion, it actually looks pretty grreat! We are having a destination wedding and aren’t getting married in our church, so I’m not really sure how open the minister would be for counseling? I know there are counseling services at the church, I feel like I just let this year get away from me and waited too long!
@oracle – The first text was just a happy easter, the other two were trying to get in touch with her to see what time she would be at church so she could maybe meet my FI. Yeah that’s a good point, maybe try once and be very open and if she isn’t interested just let it go for good. And she wasn’t expecting an invite bc it’s a destination wedding, but I was going to invite her and her family to a party we’re having when we return.
Post # 7
@rubysoho: I don’t think her texts were blowing you off. I’d just call her and ask! (Don’t text, since she may not be a texter).
Post # 8
I prefer calling as a means of communication, especially with people I don’t know. A call I feel like I have an obligation to return, a text I don’t. She might take you more seriously if you call. If she doesn’t return your call, I’d find someone else.
Post # 9
Are there any couples group in your church ? Maybe they have suggestions for counsellors.
My hubby and I did ours with a local christian counselling center, counsellor was with a pastor’s wife with training in counseling .
Post # 10
@anastasia: There are counseling services, but its just so close to the wedding that we thought this would be easier.
Update – I did call and leave a message saying “I know you’re probably super busy so if you know of anyone else who would be able to speak with us to do a little pre and even post marital counseling when we return, please let me know! No pressure but thanks for your help!”
No response for a couple days.
I’m sure I’m not geting one, so I guess I’ll just let it go. I would be interested to know why she is ignoring me though, don’t think I did anything wrong. Oh well, if I see her at church I will be polite and pleasant! =]
Post # 11
I would say right on about the polite and pleasant.
You have to know that sometimes things that we try and get done don’t work out b/c God has something different for us or he’s protecting us…
You really have no idea the spiritual condition of this lady and or her husband… the things they struggle with or don’t submit to God.
I just know that counseling is a really big deal and getting advice and a how-to shouldn’t be take from just anyone…
I think you and your FI just continue to look into a book or devo you two could do together =)