Post # 1
I’m semi excited for this weekend. My boyfriend and I are going to Lexington to visit two of our friends, S and F, who are now expecting! They were married about a year and a half ago and BF was a groomsmen. Him and S grew up together, so they are really close. We will also be meeting to other friends there, A and N. I’m very excited for a good couples’ weekend, but I have to say, I’m worried about part of it too…
You see, this past summer in June the six of us went to Destin, FL for a week long vacation, and we had a blast. However, it seemed like every other second, S and A were teasing my boyfriend about saying how “now” would be the perfect time to propose. For example, we went on a sunset dolphin cruise and S said, you know what this is the perfect time for….etc, etc.
It wasn’t a really big deal then, we just kind of laughed it off. However, now that we are very close to being engaged, and I’m having a hard time waiting and keeping from bugging BF about it, I’m a little worried. Honestly, I just don’t want that reminder to be constantly thrown in my face that no, we aren’t getting engaged now, and could very possibly not be engaged until April (my birthday) or even later!
It just makes it harder to enjoy the now when I feel like I’m constantly being forced to think about the future, do any of you know what I mean? Do any of you have any advice how to get these “You should propose now” comments to stop? Also, they put a lot of stress and pressure on my boyfriend (he tells me this all the time) which I’m afraid will make him wait longer!
Post # 3
I would nip it in the bud right away and if they do say it, the first time it happens I’d say “Well, we’ll know when the right moment is. Now ________ (comment about expecting/baby/what’s for dinner here)”
Post # 4
i think a lot of it depends on your personality type as well as how comfortable you are with the various people. personally i think i would either grin and bear it…sometimes those awkward comments and moments go hand in hand with the preengagement period. or, you could try a little humor. if S feels like running his mouth you could respond, “yeah, it would have been the perfect time…until you butted in and ruined the moment with another one of those comments!” that way you are addressing your discomfort but in a lighthearted way. if he doesn’t get it and does it again at another time then you could be more direct and simply say, “enough. jokes old.” i would definitely try to avoid getting worked up or obviously upset as that will only elevate the tension and add stress to your boyfriend. good luck!
Post # 5
I’m not good at giving advice on how to respond to those comments so hopefully some other bee’s can make suggestions. But I will say that as annoying as those comments are, you should try your best to take them as a compliment. Imagine being in a situation where your friends didn’t say those things to you and BF because they didn’t think you were a good match for each other or shouldn’t get married for some reason. There are people in this situation, believe me! And it is worse than dealing with annoying comments about getting engaged.
It only took FH and I 1.5 years from our first date to get engaged and we got comments all the time from people. It was so annoying! I was so frustrated that people would even pry like that and assume we wanted to get engaged I mean it’s not like we had been together for years and years and refused to pull the trigger. Plus as the girl, for the most part, you’re just waiting for BF to propose so why make those comments to the girl in the first place?? But looking back, I’m glad people saw us as a compatible couple who should take the next step.
Post # 6
Wow! Im sorry but this is just weird to me. Why would they be saying that stuff? My friends kept it a secret from me and acted like nothing and never said a word EVER. Just really weird they would be teasing like that… i wish i had advice for you. All i can say is maybe pull them aside? Tell them how you feel… or maybe talk to him about it and he can fore warn them.. i really have no idea. I have never heard of such a thing. I really wish you lots of luck!!!!!
Post # 7
At the first remark, calmly say something to the point of, it will happen when we are ready, then change the subject. (yes, regardless of the fact that you are ready!!!!) If you don’t show any emotion to it, like joking with it or something, they should realize that you don’t want to talk about it, and its not fun to joke about.
Post # 8
Thanks for all the helpful advice ladies! And I never thought about taking it as a compliment! I know have plenty of good ideas to divert/stop the comments. You all are lifesavers!