Post # 1
While getting ready to go out with a friend, I called my close friend, Allison, to see if she wanted to join us. She declined saying she was going to stay home to spend some time with her husband, Matt, once he got home. Apparently Matt told her that his brother is stressed and going through some things and needed someone to talk to. So he was going to his brother’s house for a little bit. This conversation between Allison and I happened around 8pm.
Around 12:45am, I got a text from Allison saying she should have joined us because Matt was still at his brother’s house. I told her that we were calling it a night soon anyway so no big deal. There are a number of bars all within walking distance of where I was and most people park in the same lot. While walking to my car, I saw Matt’s car. I know it’s his because he has personalized plates. My first thought is maybe the guys just came for a drink. No big deal… except that I’ve been to Matt’s brother’s house so I know that he lives at least 45 minutes away from where we were.
Allison texted me again around 1am saying that she called Matt to see if everything was ok, but it went straight to voicemail without ringing. Assuming he didn’t have a signal, she then called his brother’s house. His brother answered, heard it was her, and hung up. Obviously if Matt’s brother is home, then he isn’t with Matt at the bar. So now I’m torn. She is one of my closest friends, and I want to tell her where I saw his car… BUT at the same time, I don’t want to cause problems in their relationship. I don’t know who Matt was with, if anyone… but obviously he lied to her.
Would you want to know if you were Allison?
Post # 3
I would definitely want to know if it were me.
Post # 5
I would tell her. Just say you thought he’d gone to the bar with his brother since you saw his car while you guys were out. Then let her sort it out. I mean… if she’d gone out with you guys, SHE would have seen the car.
Post # 6
@GeekChic: Same here, I would want to know.
Post # 7
I would want someone to tell me and I would probably tell my friend as well. Then I would leave it to them to discuss. I wouldn’t seek any other information after that though.
Post # 8
@Mrs_G: I would tell her what you know.
Post # 9
@Mrs_G: I would definately mention that you saw his car at the bar….and then leave it at that.
Post # 10
I wanted to tell her because I would want to know. I just wanted to be sure it was the right thing. Thank u!
Post # 11
Yes, I would want to know. And yes, I would tell her if I were in your position, especially since she’s been talking to you about the situation throughout the evening.
Post # 12
Personally, I’d definitley want to know. Just tread carefully, she’s your friend and you’d be better at gauging her reaction and knowing if she’s one of those women who would be upset or flip it on you. I’d mention that I thought I saw his car (personalized plates) but I’d probably take a picture of his car with my phone, hoping not to have to show her just in case she gets upset and blames you if he says “Oh, no definitely wasn’t me”. It could be totally innocent, but it’s just not good to lie.
Really is too bad she didn’t go out with you, that way she may have seen his car for herself.
Post # 13
So I told her, and she yelled at me for not checking to see who he was with. I understand where she’s coming from, but 1) there are a lot of bars in that area, and I wasn’t about to go into each one in the hopes of finding her husband with another woman… and 2) Her husband lied… not me… So her yelling should be directed at him. This is partially what I was afraid of.
Post # 14
@Fancibride: The friend that I was with took a pic of his car with the plate showing for just that reason.
Post # 15
@Mrs_G: Definitely tell her! My philosophy is if I’m close to the offended party, I tell them. That’s what friends do.
Post # 16
Are you close enough to go back to the bars and wait near his car to see who he comes out with? I have a few friends, where I’d do some detective work for them.