(Closed) Need Advice! Bio-Dad vs. Step-dad

posted 6 years ago in Family
Post # 3
468 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

@sassysam928: Your Bio father is probably a little threathened by the step father and your relationship… even though you bio dad is your only bio dad. Even more so now that he has cancer. I think the reason for him wanting his family to walk you in the event that he can’t if so he can feel in some way he is apart of it. He doesn’t have a connection with your stepdad and he might feel if he can’t than he might get replaced maybe not just in the wedding but emotionally to you.

I also understand how this could be hurtful to your mom. Which makes it a tough call.

Maybe don’t walk with anyone in that event? Carry a rose for your dad?

I don’t have the answer but I can understand both sides. I would say follow your heart and what you think would be best for you. Feelings will get hurt but they won’t be forever ya know?

Post # 4
12 posts
  • Wedding: July 2012

i am also in the same situation however i didnt know about my bio dad til i was 11. i cant decide between the two so i am having my younger brother give me away or my 5 year old daughter. i just couldnt choose and hurt one of them they both mean so much

Post # 5
878 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Can your mother walk you down the aisle? Are you going to have a father/daughter dance? Perhaps you should substitute your mother for both and recognize both your fathers in some other way which doesn’t involve them standing close together next to you.

Post # 6
1415 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

I’d recommend having both of them do it, one on each side? It is totally inappropriate for your father to try to dictate this decision. It is yours alone to make.

Post # 7
2158 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I would say Bio-Dad for sure

Post # 8
4 posts
  • Wedding: May 2012

I’ve seen where the bio-father walks the bride down the aisle and when they get to the front the step-dad stands up and they both give her away.

Post # 9
1089 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

I would say have both and in the event that your bio-dad can’t do it get a stand in for him. That way he is still involved the way he wants to be. But you still get to involve your step dad too. Tell him that youlove both of them and you know that he is your Dad and no one can replace him but your step dad means a lot to you too. That is if you want both. 

Post # 10
996 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

@sassysam928:  Do you NEED to have anyone walk you down the aisle and ‘give you away’? You could just avoid the controversy and not choose anyone

Then again I’ve always found the practice to be somewhat chauvinist

Post # 11
609 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I had a friend whose step-father walked her from the room she was getting ready in to the start of the “official aisle” where her biological dad walked her to her groom. It was a great way to incorporate both. I know that your farther said that he wants to be the only one but if you are on good terms with your step father and want to include him this could be a good compromise.

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