- 6 years ago
- Wedding: April 2012
Fiance and I were getting married on June 23 in my parents backyard (always my dream place for getting married). This is a destination wedding for his family – 4 hours of flying or 14 hours driving. We’ve made invitations, picked a caterer, tent company, DJ, my mom has made a bunch of the table runners, napikin holders etc. We found out yesterday that FI’s sister is pregnant with the family’s first grandchild (It’s just Fiance and his sister). This is awesome news and I’m very very happy for them – I like FI’s family a lot. The only bad part is the due date is the week after our wedding. So, clearly we’re changing the wedding date. We’re not going to make her travel the month before or after the due date.
My dilemma is that those 2 months were the only months our schedules would allow a real wedding. We could push it a few months later, but we really don’t want to do that. We want to be married. We can’t push it earlier because It’s my first sememster teaching at a new college and I can’t take days off. We’ve considered moving the wedding earlier and having it in his family’s town (which is where we’re currently living), but we don’t want to have to start from scratch with everything. I canceled a wedding 3 years ago with an ex (best decision ever) and I really don’t have the emotional or physical energy to start planning again.
So Fiance and I want to cancel the wedding and just get married with a JOP our parents and his sister and go to dinner after. This will not be well received. My mom will be fine with it because she’s now been through my heartbreak of canceling a wedding twice and she understands my mindset, but I’m not sure that his family will understand. I’m sure they’ll think that I’m saying “If I can’t get it my way, I’m just not going to have a wedding at all” This is not the case. I just won’t have the time or energy to plan a new wedding in our city.
I’m also upset because Future Sister-In-Law knew she was pregnant and around when she was due when we asked his family (including her) if that date worked. I feel like she and Future Mother-In-Law have played me – they knew we would have to cancel/change things and they’ve played along. My mom even bought a ticket to fly out and go dress shopping in 2 weeks because they said they wanted to be part of it. I feel lied to and betrayed. I know that it’s up to the parents when they want to tell family about a baby, but when you know that people are wasting time and money on a wedding, I feel like it’s polite to let them know.
Sorry this is so long. I’m disappointed about not having our wedding. And terrified about how his family will view our decision to not have a wedding. Any advice is appreciated! Having it anyway isn’t an option. I’d feel bad if Future Sister-In-Law and Future Brother-In-Law aren’t there and it would make Future Mother-In-Law and Future Father-In-Law pick between their kids.