- 9 years ago
- Wedding: June 2010
My first day on Wedding Bee and I’m writing a post on the "Emotional" board. Good sign! Anyhoo, I need some advice because it has a lot to do with delegating & planning, which i know every bride needs to do.
For a quick review….my FI & I got engaged in Nov & we’re getting married next year in June, so it’s a year and a half engagement. Awesome for me because I work full time & am going back to school and planning the whole thing cause I’m a control freak. However, it’s killing both my Mom & my FMIL because all their friends keep asking them for details, but there aren’t many because we’re still 11 months away. They then claim that their "friends" keep asking why their so uninformed. My FI & I keep saying "we’re still a ways away…..there isn’t much to tell yet." My mom has moments, but i can be straight with her and tell to chill out. My FI’s mother….not so much.
My FMIL is very sweet, but we’re very different. I’m a liberal who has the mouth of a sailor, she belongs to the local country club and thinks hell is too strong of a word. She’s also incredibly hypersensitive and cries at everything, which is why I keep my distance a bit. I’m polite, but I am very reserved and keep my mouth shut a lot because I don’t want to offend her, thus creating a big heap of drama for us & our wedding.
A while back, she said she and her friends wanted to throw me a shower. I said of course, knowing that she would love to do it and it would be a good way to involve her & keep her busy. However, she’s brought it up 5 or 6 times, and I finally said that it sounds great, but let’s talk about it a little later in the year since the shower(s) won’t happen until next March or April. Plus I want to make sure my bridal party knows that this shower is for her & her friends and they can throw me something more my style at a later time.
Well, it all blew up a bit the other day cause my FMIL called my FI & FLIPPED OUT about how we’re not including her in the wedding and how she’s being left out of his life and our lives and yadda yadda yadda. She hates that he’s an adult and that we don’t live close by (we’re in NYC, they’re in Buffalo). But yeah, big old mess.
I gave my FI an e-mail with the loose timeline of events (save the dates in Nov, shower in Mar, etc) and he sent it along to her to try and make her realize that she’s being paranoid as there isn’t anything to be left out of. But all of this drama makes me super concerned about the next year with her. I’m conflicted, because of I involve her more, she will get super offended and cry everytime I may not agree with her idea (being so different, I’m sure it will). If i put more distance between her & the planning, she WILL be left out, and that’s not fair. I should say that they are contributing some money to the wedding costs, and I am mindful and respectful of that. But with her being such a loose cannon, how do I walk that fine line of involving her without offending her & distancing her completely….or is there a confrontation in my future whether i like it or not. HELP! Anyone out there have an uber sensitive & emotional FILM?