Need Advice! How do you tell someone they can't be in your wedding?

posted 3 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
6747 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

If she was very hurtful to MY mother, I would not worry about offending her. 

Post # 4
Member
356 posts
Helper bee

@Ccalifornia18:  I would just tell her that you and her have drifted, and you wanted the people closest to you in the wedding. Regardless of what you say, or how you say it I’m sure she’ll flip shit. But let her- thats probably the reason she’s not married.

Post # 5
Member
1248 posts
Bumble bee

@Ccalifornia18:  oh man. i had a friend who assumed she was in my wedding. i had never gave her any hints, even before getting engaged, that she would be a BM. it was messy. I posted on fb after i asked my BMs, and i get this crazy text from her asking if she was in it or not. Like, obviously not… way to make it awkward! I then realized i should text my other semi-close friends that my bridal party was filled, but that i want them to totally be a part of things.

so #1- do not post who your BMs are on fb for her to find out that way lol

#2- send her a thoughtful text telling her you are grateful to have her as your friend and cousin, and you want her to be as involved in the wedding process as possible, but that the spots you have in your bridal party have been filled. I totally threw my FI under the bus & told her he just didnt have enough friends for me to ask everyone hahah make sure your FI is cool with you doing that first, but dont be afraid to use that as a legit reason.

Post # 7
Member
42510 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Just “man up” and tell her asap, before the word gets out in some other way.

Call, text, email- whatever you can make yourself do. ” I want you to know that although you are an important part of my life, I have chosen women who are closer to me for my bridal party. I hope you will understand that I can’t ask everyone I would like, and hope that I will still have your support.”

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