Post # 1
So how to I tell someone that they are not invited to my wedding?
The bad this is, I really WANT them to be there…
Backstory… when I get engaged a year ago I made a tentative list and BIG MISTAKE sent out save the dates to everyone (including local friends when I should have just sent to out of towners). Well in the year, things change. People move, change jobs, etc and the people I was close to then are not so close anymore and I’m closer to others, however, some of these new friends weren’t on the original list.
So what do I do, do I stick to the originial list because they have save the dates? Or do I make a few changes? Or do I just explain to “new friends” that I only have limited space (my venue only hold 100) and as much as I would love them to be there i’m not sure theres room)
Is it tacky to to tell them I want them to come if some family declines (a lot of my and FI’s family are OOT). I don’t want them to think they are B list- its just things have changed! HELP!
Post # 3
If you think that some of your family is going to decline the invitation anyway and we are only talking about one couple. Why don’t you invite them anyway and hope for the best! I am assuming that you will get at least 1 couple that will say No!
Post # 4
@destiny1120: I waited until my family declined and then invited some of my new coworkers. They basically knew they were B-listed because of circumstances, but they understood that I had just met them and the STDs went out half a year before I met them.
Post # 5
Make a B-list 🙂
If all else fails – have a separate gathering like a BBQ to celebrate with the new buddies that you couldn’t invite for the big day.
Post # 6
I personally would have to say that if you sent out STDs to them, you really should invite them. Do you expect that some family will decline? How big is your guest list without this group of people, and how big would it be if you included them?
Post # 7
@galloway111:Right now I have 137 on my list that got invitations. The room holds 100. When I predict who i think is coming I’m in the upper 90’s. There are 5 couples on my “B” list. I’m just so close to the maximum allowance and thats what worries me. I was actually told the room is best suited for about 80 people. 100 will be crowded.
Post # 8
I ran into the same issue as a rookie bride. =( I sent STD’s and made a few verbal promises I wish I hadn’t and was pressured into inviting the entire family of one of my bridesmaids. I’m sucking it up though, just might have to cut back on acquantances, co-workers, friends of friends who did not get an STD or any type of verbal indication. i don’t think I have the guts to tell anyone they aren’t invited anymore.
Post # 9
@destiny1120: You are asking an etiquette question and the answer is that it is not acceptable to have a B list. All of your guests should be treated the same.
You are also stuck with everyone you sent an STD to. They have already been invited. If you aren’t that close to them, then they may decline anyway.