- 6 years ago
I was wondering if any bees have ever experienced depression during a relationship and worked through it 🙁
I am a college student in my second semester I started noticing signs of depression. Not wanting to go to class or do homework. Not really wanting to do anything for that matter. Not even getting excited to see friends and family I normally couldn’t wait to see.
I also was very sad. I do not know why. I just cried everyday. And none of my friends too anything seriously. Also , these feelings make me even feel a little spiritually detatched.I am Christian, and yes I sin, but I try to do the best I can, but I just feel like I am undeserving of Jesus’ unchangable love! THis has given me a weird nervousness before I read my Bible or go to church , and this is a really big bother to me!
I have also been in a relationship for 4 and a half years. We have had our struggles, one break up to straighten his thoughts out, but have been better than ever(this was over a year ago). Well with the depression like symptoms, I began feeling a lack of emotion towards my boyfriend. Rewind about 2 or 3 months before this started I was so excited about our upcoming engagement, like overly excited, ring crazed, but recently just blank. This lack of feeling makes me upset , very upset because I know deep down I love him with all my heart. Well I cried over this for weeks, still sometimes do, but now for the most part I just try and keep it out of mind so I won’t cry all the time. I still look forward to seeing him, and we giggle and have fun like normal when he is around, it’s just not that passionate love feeling I’m used to. This leads me to question if we should break up, but I know I don’t want to , I would just be doing this because of this dull feeling and I feel like it might relieve it, but yet I’d lose something I know I love.
Lastly I thought I would add some things to keep in mind:
My(great) aunt, got polio at 4, and now diagnosed with stage 4 bone, bladder and brain cancer is on her death bed(they say she will go at anytime). She is very close to my grandmother who is like my mother and whom I lived with and turn to for advice. well the stress of seeing her so upset and knowing she will be alone without her sister(my great aunt)breaks my heart and I cannot wait for semester to end so I can spend the summer with her. Also , my dad is out of work and I feel so very bad for him, he has the worst of luck but is the most genuine, caring person ever! Another form of stress is school. The work is so difficult and makes me feel like I’m incapable of everything, and a class I’m already retaking , I’m still doing poorly. And now It’s finals week 🙁
Anyways, I’ve spoke to a counselor and we are meeting again thursday to evaluate things I should do this summer to help what I’ve been feeling(honestly I feel like crying writing this) I was just hoping maybe others could share experiences with this and maybe add some light to my very dark tunnel, i need a break from all this emotion and stress!