- 4 years ago
- Wedding: November 2013
I am getting married in November in NH (My fiance and I live in SC, our families are in NH), and I have a maid of honor and four bridesmaids.
I’ve known most of the girls for years, and felt confident in asking them to be a part of my wedding. The fourth BM I asked before I got to know her very well, which was a horrible mistake on my part. I didn’t like her at first, but felt obligated to be friends with her because she began dating my future brother-in-law. Their relationship had a lot of problems and they ended up breaking up about a week ago. She has since spent a couple of nights with him before going out of state. While I’m not sure if they’ll get back together (which means I won’t be able to avoid her for the rest of my life) I also know that I’ve wanted to ask her to step down since mid-July(We’ve been engaged since early June), and realized I had asked her too soon to be a part of my special day. She hasn’t helped much in the planning, and there have been no purchases yet. I have tried to salvage my friendship with her, but the more I try, the harder it is. She is very flirty, which I realize some people are, but I have found her making a few flirty remarks to my fiance (however he doesn’t seem to notice) as well as other friends of ours who are married or in committed relationships– which is something I do not agree with. I also found out she has not been faithful to my future brother in law and that she has caused trists in other relationships. I have plenty of people to replace her, and quite frankly, I’m not sure how I would feel without her friendship; the only problem would be if her and my future in law got back together. Either way, I really want to ask her to step down, and it is causing me a lot of stress and irritation because I love my future family very much and the future BIL has bent over backwards to make her happy and lets her live with us (I live with my fiance, his two brothers, and my BM who has been out of state for less than week) rent-free and chore free (I am not employed so I do the chores/clean the house).
I am 21, never been involved in a wedding before, and none of my friends know what to do. I am not confrontational unless need-be, and I would much rather pretend like I never even asked her to stand (I know it’s not an option). Any advice would be much appreciated!