(Closed) Need advice on bad friend

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
591 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I’ve known people like this in my life. It is definitely hard coming to a realization that you would think these people would be HAPPY for you but instead, they can’t get past their own jealousy and selfish feelings. I finally had to just distance myself from people who were like this in my life. It is sad to let them go, but not healthy for you to feel all the unnecessary stress. Eventually, my friend who did this came back around but we aren’t as good of friends anymore. But just want you to know that you aren’t alone in this situation. It is a crappy feeling. Sorry hun!

Post # 4
Member
2204 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I would go easy on her. It’s hard to watch your friends be happy in relationships (let alone engaged) when you’re going through a rough time.

I’m sure she values your friendship but I would lighten the wedding talk in front of her for awhile and just be respectful of her feelings- that’s what a good friend does. Be one to her.

Post # 5
Member
13 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2009

Aww, I’m sorry that your friend is treating you that way! I totally understand what you mean though. I’m married now and and have a good friend that can’t wait to get engaged to her boyfriend of 3 years. 4 years ago my now husband and I started dating. After about a year into us dating we introduced her to a good friend of ours. They hit if off and have been dating ever since. Well, from the day I met her she has been totally obsessed with getting married, having kids, etc.. So when I got engaged I could tell it was painful for her to congratulate and even be around me because she was so envious of my engagement. We went from talking on the phone almost every day to maybe once a week (if that). She was a bridesmaid in my wedding but I felt like I could never disuss details or planning of the wedding with her. It’s like she didn’t want to hear about it and it made her really upset with her boyfriend for “taking so long to propose”. My now husband and I dated a whole YEAR before her and the guy WE introduced her to…I never understood but was pretty hurt by it at the time. She’s better now…still waiting to get engaged though. haha (sorry, it’s’ probably mean to laugh!). Anyway, I think you just have to wait it out. She probably just needs to get over her ex and used to the fact that you have a lot of really exciting things in your life right now. She’s obviously jealous and I know it’s not fair but if she’s like my friend, with time she’ll come around.

Post # 6
Member
2867 posts
Sugar bee

You know people handle things in different ways.  Can you imagine being in her shoes?  Personally, if I was in a relationship and then my friend got in engaged and my relationship ended, it would hurt to have to hear wedding talk.  I think she should be happy for you and perhaps she is, she’s just having trouble expressing it.  Also, people go through life events at different times.  I wouldn’t hold it against her for wanting to enjoy her single life with other single people.  Unless she is doing some really mean things, I wouldn’t be upset.  I don’t think distance is being mean, I think she’s trying to heal.  As a friend, you should respect that.  Perhaps extend a hand and go out and discuss nothing wedding related.

By the way, congrats on the engagement 🙂  Enjoy this time!

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