- 5 years ago
Hi Bees, I don’t post much but am having yet another wedding related problem so thought i would pop in for some help!!
I have posted once before how my entire engagement has been rather difficult. Due to some mental issues, my mother is completely unable to let me go, embrace my fiance, allow us to make our own decisions regarding our wedding. The issues with my mom are not specifically due to the wedding (ie: its a personal problem that has impacted many aspects of our life for a long time) but it is now pretty much crashing every decision I make regarding my adult life.
My fiance and I originally set a date for 2013, asked our bridal party etc. However, due to issues with my mother the whole entire process has been tarnished and we have been unable to enjoy any of it, really (there is no making her happy no matter what we do nor how much we try to involve her). Because of this stress of my families personal problems, my fiance and I decided it would be best to move our wedding up to this fall (ie: This November) I know that this is planning a wedding within a 4 month time, but we feel like it is best so that we can then finally move on and live our lives. We honestly feel like it is the best situation for us as a couple at this point all things considering.
So this is my dilemma, with that said I told my M.O.H this and she was actually pretty rude and not understanding. She is well aware of the situation we have been dealing with with my mother (not just surrounding my wedding) and still showed no sign of understanding. I was actually really hurt and shocked by her reaction. I can see if people are not able to relate or are very surprised but her reaction was much more than that. She stated at least five or six times things like “you are rushing your marriage” “no turning back” “a lot of people aren’t going to be happy” “i’m not happy about this” blah blah blah. I was actually really disheartened to the point where we havent even told our other bridal attendants yet because I was so shocked by her reaction.
SO THIS IS MY QUESTION. Are my fiance and I being selfish??? We realize that plans are changing to very soon (4 months) but all we are really asking them is to be there and support us on that day…not asking for extras or for them to plan or anything. I even made it clear to my M.O.H and will also explain to my other bridesmaids that really all we expect and are asking is that they are there the day we getting married (Its fine with me that Bachelorette Parties, Showers, all the extras won’t happen). About half of our bridal party will still need to fly in for it but we honestly didn’t think 4 months for that was rude.
PLEASE GIVE ME YOUR OPINIONS!!!!! Are we doing something wrong??? My fiance and I still want the actually wedding because we don’t feel like we should have to give up absolutely everything just because of problems within my family. Hence, why we came up with this solutions.
ADVICE AND COMMENTS PLEASE!!!!