- 5 years ago
- Wedding: November 2011
I just gotta vent….sorry it’s so long.
For the past few days, Darling Husband and I have been fighting. Each time, we both wind up yelling (we are both stubborn/hot-headed at times) and it resulted in me crying hysterically….which I never cry. I thought it was super PMS but I’m still waiting on AF….2 days late now.
We’ve had arguments in the past and usually only over things that really matter. But sometimes over stupid things….and that’s b/c one of us will say something that the other takes the wrong way and an argument follows. We’ve gotten better about our communication b/c of those types of fights. And instead of “fighting back” one of us will say “did you mean it THIS way?” and that’s when we figure out it was said wrong.
Anyways, we are going back to visit his family for the holidays. His company is paying for us to go back and I’ve spent hours researching the flights to get us back there….we had a fight over that b/c he told me to just pick a flight b/c it was too much for him to think about.
It escalated b/c I told him it was HIS company and HIS family and I didn’t see why he wasn’t helping with the planning. He then accused me of hating his family and not wanting to see them…which is when I started crying. I do NOT hate his family at all and it upset me he’d pull that card….considering I’m planning each day and who were are spending it with…his parents are divorced.
He hasn’t said he loves me in a couple of days…and he usually tells me several times a day. He usually cuddles with me on the sofa at night but he’s been too into his computer for that (looking at camping/truck things)….btw, he’s always on his computer anyways but he will still cuddle and used to get upset if I sat on the other side of the sofa….not lately though.
Last night, I mentioned that while he’s in his training class next week and I’m stuck in a hotel room for a couple of days, I’m going through all our travel photos and picking the best ones so we can show his family. He proceeded to tell me I shouldn’t delete any photos and I should do it xyz way…but not in a helpful tone…more of a “why on earth would do that?” tone. Another argument where I just gave in and said “whatever you think is best.”
He’s always liked my ideas but lately, he’s been fighting me about why HIS ideas are better….about everything…I’ve told him he’s making me feel like a stupid kid that can’t do anything by themself. To the point (and I’ve told him this) that I don’t want to plan anything for our trip b/c he’ll find some flaw in it and it will turn into an argument.
We also just found out his brother is expecting his first kid…unexpected. And another coworker that just got married a few months ago is expecting. We’ve been TTC for over a year and I took a HPT this morning and it was BFN…all that happened after he saw it was he hurried up and left for work….without hugging/kissing me or saying “I love you.”
I’ve also been packing, cleaning the house, doing laundry, making all our reservations meanwhile he just sits on the sofa doing nothing but watching tv or looking at the computer. He came home early on Monday and spent the extra 3 hours watching tv.
He called recently and mentioned that I didn’t hug him when he left this morning and he’d be expecting one when he got home…never mentioned the lack of an I love you and then didn’t say it before he hung up.
I just sense that something is going on….I think it might be work-related but I’m not sure. Our anniversary is this weekend and I don’t want these fights to continue. Any advice on how to turn this around?