(Closed) need advice on husband

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
492 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

sell the old ring. 

Post # 4
72 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I second sell the old ring. You can get the benefit of more $, plus it will show your Darling Husband that you really don’t care for the old ring.

Post # 5
391 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

Have you thought about selling the old engagement ring? It can get uncomfortable to have any reminder of an ex around…This will be my and my FI’s second marriage so we were both sure to have no emotional (and physical) reminders. We did retrieve his last engagement ring and sold it at 75% of its value. We used the money for a vacation 🙂

Men put a lot of pride on how he can take care of his significant other. He’s not going to think “Well I got her the ring she truly wants and I’m not exactly in the same place in life-” when he thinks about the ring he got you. He’s going to see and know that the 3.3 carat diamond will be someplace in your life until you decide what to do with it.

If I were in your FI’s shoes I’d feel the same. I’d feel pretty terrible that I wouldn’t be able to “provide” and there’s not much you can say to make me feel better In My Humble Opinion. Is there a reason why you’ve kept the other ring? Are you saving it to pass it on?

Post # 7
9955 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

Thanks for the UPDATE

Sounds like you have a plan… and a good one at that.

As far as your Hubby’s reaction to the ring from your Ex, men are like this (competitive).  Try as you might to convince him that what he’s bought you is just fine, you may find that there is no swaying his opinion.

My best advice is TRY to get him to see your point of view… but at the same time, I’d have a back-up plan (compromise) ready as Plan B just incase you cannot convince him.  (When guys get set on such an idea it is difficult to deter them)

Example… When Mr TTR and I began dating, I had a pair of diamond studs that I used to wear on occasion.  They were nice enough (but not huge).  They had been a Christmas Present from my Ex around our 20th Year together… I wore them not because I thought of my Ex, but because I truly liked them (lol, certainly didn’t like him at that point in time)

Mr TTR discovered that the studs were from my Ex… it bothered him.  So he went out and bought me another pair from him… they are slightly bigger and a better quality of diamond.  But essentially in my mind, they are just another pair of diamond studs (what do I need 2 pairs for ?)

Of course I was happy to get them (us girls have to be more conscious of saying Thank You… guys have fragile egos in this regard).  BUT I honestly don’t need them.  I wear them occasionally, which is about how often I wore the original set.  The other set, I don’t wear at all.  Thinking that I’ll give them to one of the kids (if they’ll have them)

I LOVE my Hubby-2-B so I don’t wish to hurt his feelings.  But honestly he didn’t have to spend the money to “out-do” my Ex… I really didn’t care.  In my mind he could have spent that money on something else for me… but when it comes to men and their egos sometimes life is just going to be one long p!ssing contest, and there is nothing us gals can do about it.

Mr TTR has never seen my previous E & W Rings… (I did that on purpose after the earring fiasco).  BUT he knew their general value as he had asked me about them at some point early on in our relationship.  Lol, of course when we got engaged he made sure he “surpassed” that marker… again more guy ego stuff.  I love my E-Ring… and I love my Fiance, so I’ve learned to come to terms with is “big male ego” when required

(BTW, my first set of rings are also in a Safety Deposit Box… in my name.  Mr TTR has never sen them.  Plan is when my oldest Daugher gets Engaged / Married, then the rings will be passed onto her, it will be symbolic in that her Dad has passed on, and won’t be there on her BIG Day… having the rings he married me with, will hopefully connect the dots for her on that day, and make her feel more at one with “our family” and the fact that life is a series of common events … Marriages – Births – Deaths – Marriages etc)


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