- 6 years ago
- Wedding: April 2011
hi ladies! i am a new poster here (although not a new reader/lurker!) and i could really use some help. i am not sure this is in the right catagory but it’s kind of complicated issue, so any advice is welcome!
i am married, my hubby and i have been married almost a year and a half (together almost three years). this is my second marriage and his first. i am in my early thirties and he is in his late twenties and we are in slightly different places, i have a masters degree and used to have a high level career and now stay home to take care of our daughter. my hubby is in school and working a retail job (he will be done school in another 2 years).
so when my hubby was getting ready to propose (we talked about it ahead of time) he was VERY careful to take note of the ring i wanted. the ring he ended up buying is perfect – it’s a .73 emerald cut, D, internally flawless, with 2 emerald cut side stones (each .25 carats, F VVS1) and then another .20 of princess cut stones in the band. I LOVE it, it is so sparkly and perfect. i have always made sure to tell him that i love it so he knows how much i value that he got what i wanted (emerald cuts are my fave and i have never had an jewelry with an emerald cut). however, i still have my engagement ring from my first husband (we were married 10 yrs).
recently my hubby and i were at the bank and i needed to add something to our safety deposit box and my hubby pulled out my old engagement ring. it is a very flashy piece – it is a 3.3 round solitaire with a SI1 clarity and G color. it is also a lovely ring but i am not as fond of it because it is of a lesser quality BUT more importantly, my ex spent a lot of money on it and i have never been a fan of round diamonds. i wore the ring for a long time and i liked it but i always longed for an emerald cut and now i have it! (and more importantly, i have my beloved husband!)
so now my husband is very upset that he gave me “such a small ring” (his words, NOT mine). i have tried to tell him that i don’t want a bigger stone because i love the emerald cut and i love that it’s a D, internally flawless because it sparkles so much. he, obviously, knew i was married before and he had seen my old ring in pics but never in person.
my ex was also in a VERY different place than my husband – he was older, already established in a career and we had no children so he had a lot more disposable income.
my husband def feels bad and it shows. he keeps talking about upgrading my current ring, which i don’t want to do, see no reason to do and we couldn’t afford it even if he wants to. he has talked to our jeweler and the bank about getting credit for an upgrade, which i also don’t want – my current ring was paid for by my hubby in cash that he worked hard to save. i am sad because he really seems to want to upgrade my ring. how do i make him understand i adore my ring for so many reasons, but mostly because he knew me and bought a ring based on my taste rather than based on what the jeweler sold him or what he thought would look good (like my ex)?