Post # 1
I am so torn and havent even spoken to my fiance about this yet .I wanted to see what you all think before I SAY ANYTHING to hiM .
First off I left my life in the USA to move temporarily to Holland to close the gap in our distance relationship of 3 years .
We are getting married Sept 14, 2012 just a few weeks away now . First my fiancees brother was diagnosed with cancer and had his esophagus removed and part of his stomauch as well .He is going thru a horrible debilitateing healing process and depression . He will never be abe to eat normally agian and is hooked to IVs at home for nourishment .He is young at 38 and has two children an a wife ..my fiancees sister .
Now my mom has become very ill and will be having her colon removed in the next couple of weeks .They are waiting for the current infection to get better as she has divirticulitis and a pacemaker…generally very poor health .I am so torn..we are supposed to marry and then take my new husband parent with us for thier first time to the usa as they are elderly and will not be able to go again . A big part of the trip was for our parents to meet and now my mom says she doesnt want to because of her situation…and I do understand that but I feel selfishly devastated .I had had a very dysfunctional home life growing up and we had recently made peace with it and my parents .
I feel like it is selfish for me to get married and party while there is so much pain in our family members lifes .My mom may not even survive the surgery and that is why it has been put off so long .What if she does die due to the surgery right before our wedding..I am so lost right now…please help me .
Post # 3
I think you need to sit down and talk to your fiance about this. Be honest with how you feel, and make sure he knows how serious your mom’s condition is. Only you two can decide how to move forward from here.
Sending good thoughts and prayers for your mom’s quick recovery!
Post # 4
I personally wouldn’t call the wedding off but talk to your fiance. I am sorry all of this is happening right now.
Post # 5
Okay, it sounds like you are getting married in the Netherlands and then taking your FI’s family to the US to meet your parents?
Would it be possible to go ahead with the wedding and just postpone the US trip until your mom is feeling better?
I’m so sorry that you’ve had so many illnesses (serious ones!) in your family recently. That does make it difficult, but I also don’t think you should necessarily postpone your wedding until everything is right for everyone else; you can’t know what’s coming in the future either, and trying to plan across continents, you could wait forever and still not have a moment when there’s nothing serious going on in anyone else’s life.
Post # 6
That’s a super difficult situation, and you seem very well adjusted under the circumstances.
But, one question: your fiancee’s brother… is married to your fiancee’s sister? Is your fiancee’s brother blood-related to your fiancee’s sister? That’s a bit wild!
*that is all*
Post # 7
@Double_rainbow: Sorry ..what I meant to say is my fiancees sisters husband has cancer .Here in Holland I am already considered a sister to his siblings even though not married yet .Really cool,…I am a bit brain drained sorry for the confussion lol .