(Closed) Need Advice–Plan a “big” wedding or elope?

posted 8 years ago in Money
Post # 3
Member
1897 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

E-L-O-P-E!

Post # 4
Member
966 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

Ask your man what HE wants, and explain your point of view.  And if he doesn’t want to have something as small as a courthouse ceremony, maybe you can compromise and have a wedding of maybe 50 with a cake and punch reception.

Post # 5
Member
966 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

Also, a friend of mine just had his wedding…  two years after they got married!  Nothing says you can’t have a big ceremony later.

Post # 6
Member
10367 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

Why not elope and have an extended awesome honeymoon instead? If your FI is in the armed forces, it would probably make a lot more sense to spend that money on quality time for the two of you, since you will have to be separated often!

Post # 8
Member
181 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

i would try to compromise and have a smaller budget wedding that FEELS like a big celebration. find out what he means by celebration. if its friends, dancing, good food? then you dont have to spend the money on a designer dress, huge centerpeices, on fine china, or even on a 3 course sit down meal. you can have a lot of celebrating with your closest friends, an appetizer buffet with paper plates and some open bottles of alcohol.

the ceremony part of the wedding doesnt have to cost much either, sounds like you want a small ceremony, hes more concerned about the party. we are saving money on our ceremony by holding it in the same location as the reception, only have to rent chairs once, and only have to decorate one space.

“average budget” is pretty high in my opinion.

 

Post # 9
Member
1701 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I feel the same way about my wedding.  I can pay for it, but it is a stretch and that money could definitely be used for other things.  On the other hand, there are some things that are really worth celebrating and I really want a wedding!

Talk to FI about some options and see what is really important to him.  If it’s just a party, there’s lots of options for that.  If it’s really the public vows, including lots of family and friends then you can do a brunch/lunch reception or a Friday/Sunday deal.

If you do go through with the traditional wedding, do not feel guilty about it.  You can use your wedding gift money to pay down some debt!

Post # 10
Member
5892 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2012

have you scoped out prices for renting out a beach house for the week?  i’ve done this quite a bit and it can get VERY pricey.  maybe look around before making final decision.

Post # 12
Member
3 posts
Wannabee

@Violet Violet:Instead of doing the traditional banquet style wedding, why not choose somewhere off season and do a beach house wedding or something a little untraditional. A good friend of mine got married in the Outer Banks in NC, its amazing how much less renting a house is off-season than on. Another idea is to have a theme which will allow you to have some flexibility in terms of pricing, i.e. camp wedding or at local farm which will allow for a barbecue or pot luck.

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