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I'd tell him.
I hate knowing secrets, so if you're anything like me you'd be really dissapointed you know!!!
Thanks for the advice so far...I have to decide quick! Trying to figure out the best course of action...
Go along with it, let him think he is planning a wonderful surprise and don't ruin it for him. Tell him after the fact.
@Martinigirl: That is what I do too, DH is so bad at suprises.
I'd tell him - mostly because I know if the shoe was on the other foot, I'd be bummed DH didn't let on to me that he knew - meanwhile, all month long, I'd been acting covertly, etc - it would make me feel like an idiot if he ever found out.
OR - if you are good at keeping secrets and will NEVER let on (to anyone!) that you knew - I'd go along with it and fake it.
It's kind of up to what your personality is like... :) Sorry - not much help, but hopefully will give you some things to weigh.
Can you pull off acting "surprised?" If so, don't tell him.
But if you can't and you might end up telling him anyway, even after-the-fact, I'd tell him now.
@oracle: I agree that if I was so proud of myself for being sneaky for a month, I'd feel really bad later when I found out he'd known all along.
Thanks ladies! Guess what....he's home early! Knot in my stomach! I think I'll just see how it plays out. THANK YOU for all of your suggestions! Will let you know what happened :)
I agree...don't ruin the surprise for him!! Let him have fun with the planning. You'll still be surprised a month from now...just tell yourself that you never saw it! I dont know that you should even tell him after the fact because then it'll be like "Ha! I knew the whole time!" and that's not nice. Maybe tell him years later...
i wouldnt tell him - sometimes we have to do little white fibs because we dont want to disappoint the person you love
tell your parents to not say a thing to him!!!
I say no...go along with it and let him have his fun ;-)
My Husband loves surprising me, but little to his knowledge he has never actually surprised me. it makes him happy, so I always go along with it.
I'd tell him. There's no way I could keep a secret from my FI. Honest is always the best.
TELL HIM! No secrets, no matter if they seem well-intentioned. That would hurt my feelings if DH knew and didn't say.
Plus, I would feel umcomfortable not telling him I knew about it. Faking is never fun!
Thank you so much for all of your quick responses! I agree with EVERYONE and that's why I was freaking out and didn't know what to do!
He got home and I went in the bedroom as he was changing, sort of feeling out the situation. We started chit-chatting, and I was just looking into his face and felt so terrible NOT saying anything, and being SO afraid of how I'd react if he brought anything up about my birthday! I was having some serious stomach knots
SO....
I said to him "honey, I have to tell you something....I got an email from the vineyard...." and he knew exactly what happened. He was so upset with himself, because he put me on his email chain when we joined the vineyard a few years ago as club members, so he knew that he forgot to take my emai off of this email chain! He was disappointed that he forgot to do that! He said that me knowing now will make things easier, because now he doesn't have to be so secretive with the planning! I told him that he is so sweet for doing this and it is still a great surprise and I'm so excited, and it doesn't have to be a complete surprise to be great! He said he still wants to continue doing all of the planning and doesn't want me to get involved at all (which I wasn't planning on doing!), so it still gives him something to do for me!
I asked him if he would have rather me not say anything and act suprirsed, and he said no, that he would have been able to tell and see it on my face the day of the surprise. SO, I think I did the right thing. I would have been freaking out for a month!
Thank you all SO MUCH again! You guys are awesome! :)
@liartist: Yea! You did the right thing, I am so happy. :) Even though he is bummed out, he isn't bummed out you told him, he is bummed it got a little messed, but better to be upfront in all things is my philosophy for a good marriage. It will still be wonderful! Sounds fun!
That's such a great update! So glad it worked and you'll have to update us on the b'day festivities when they happen! :)
Thanks so much! I'm officially in the loop now and the plans are proceeding ahead. I'm still super excited even though it's not a surprise and it will still be tons of fun! I will definitely let you know how it goes!
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I accidentally received an email that I wasn't supposed to......surprise plans for my 30th birthday next month at a vineyard. Do I let him know that I know, or go along with it. I don't know if I'll be able to fake it for a whole month and act surprised on the day of.
An emergency phone call to my parents.....they said I should tell him that I know. What do you all think?