Post # 1
Ughh who said wedding planning was fun?
So my FI and I have been together 6 years and we are planning a destination wedding in Punta Cana in May of 2015 for about 50 people. I personally didnt really want the big wedding and all, I would have been fine with flying somewhere awesome and eloping with my FI but he wanted a wedding. He wanted to share his special day with people he loves, and I completely understand so I gave in and we decided a destination was an appropirate fit.
The problem is his family does seem to make anything easy. First off the two sides dont get along and have not been in the same room with one another for over 10 years, so I am sure you can understand why that would cause anxiety.
Yesterday his parents asked us to book all of their arrangement for them, they NEVER travel and are uncomfortable with it. They expresses several times how they dont want to travel for a wedding. Well last night when we send them an email about arrangements for booking they flipped out and told us the truth. His Stepmother sent me an email about how “We were very clear from the beginning about the fact that we did not like having to go out of the country and take a vacation of your choice for our sons wedding.” and how ” The destination wedding requires no planning from us other than having to beg someone to stay with the dog and traveling out of the country which we have no desire to do, it’s a lot to expect.” She also stated that, “We have earned a day to enjoy our kids weddings with our families in attendance.”
On anothe notes my FI step brother is very religious and was asked to be a groomsmen and informed us that he will not be part of the wedding since its not a catholic mass.
At this point and seeing how they really feel about the wedding, I believe I am wasting my time trying to plan a wedding that I am not sure I even want. I would be happy just being with my FI. I would love my family to be part of my day, but we could hold a celebration when we get back I would be happy with that. I know my family would be a little bummer that I chose to elope, but they understand and want us to do what is best for us. The stress of everything is getting to me. I just want to walk down an aisle and say vows pledging my love to my FI. I dont care about all the other BS.
Please bees guide me in the right direction! 🙂
Post # 2
What does your fiancée think of eloping? Does he still want the wedding after all of these difficulties?
I think eloping/having a private ceremony is a great idea and perfect for your situation. If your fiancée is ok with it, I think you should do it.
Post # 3
If you can still back out of the arrangements you mentioned, I’d consider first a ‘closest family only’ wedding, then go on honeymoon (and keep it quiet about following this with a private ceremony to kick off your honeymoon, for a fresh angle on marriage the way you want it, after the intensity of the traditional wedding and families being at odds with eachother.)
Then if you still wanted to share your happiness with friends, how about going to a restaurant with a big crowd when you’re back?
Post # 4
cschmidt1214: The concept of marriage as we know it today is very far removed from the Biblical ideal of marriage. There for the stepbrother is full of nonsense, a man and woman coming together as on is Biblical full stop. That said it is not easy dealing with people that are set in their ways. I have had to deal with it too, and to a certain extent I am like that.
Your wedding is about a promise you and your FI is making to one another, a very important promise. It is a day that will be written on the tables of the both your heart’s for eternity. Think about how you want that story to be remembered, and told one day to children and grandchildren. I would suggest cancel everything, and start from scratch. Go away for a weekend, just away from the familiar, even if it’s a hotel in town. Give the weekend a name, like ‘The Big Plan’ or maybe something less cheesy! Then talk about what you want, and what your FI wants, listen well to one another. Decide what you as a couple want from the event and how and what you would like to remember and go with that, regardless of who says what and when. I, personally, am all for the idea of eloping and when the time comes I would definitely elope. Best of luck, I wish you well!
Post # 5
Thank you for all your advice and support! I really appreciate it!
Post # 6
Beedoglady: I really like this idea! Were suppose to go away to the shore this weekend, I think its a great time to really decide what WE want. Thanks!
Post # 7
Post # 8
- Wedding: March 2014 - A castle!
Having 50 guests at a destination wedding sounds like you’re opening a can of worms. That is a LOT to ask for – 50 people to make travel arrangements out of the country, take a week off work, find sitters for pets or children. My suggestion would be to either have a local wedding, to have a small destination wedding maybe with just the MOH and best man in attendance and then have a party with family when you get back, or do a Sandals “Weddingmoon” which is an all-inclusive package that has most of the work done for you – you just need to show up with what you’re wearing. If you husband REALLY wants a big wedding, then try looking into local venues. I know in my family, if I tried to have a destination wedding it would be more like an obligation than a celebration and I probably wouldn’t get any wedding gifts, because most of the guests probably couldn’t afford it.