- 6 years ago
- Wedding: March 2013
I have been best friends with my Maid/Matron of Honor since elementary school but We have been long distance since we were 15 and have remained very close. A year ago she told me that she did not believe that my now Fiance is the right one for me, as she does not believe he gets who I am. My Maid/Matron of Honor states that he does not appreciate me and all that I am, as I wear my heart on my sleeve and am a very passionate and caring/emotional person. I appreciated her honesty but it was never easy to hear.
In December my Fiance had a surprise engagement with 30 of our closest family and friends( our family lives 5+ hours away) and he managed to get everyone together for the proposal. It was the most amazing day of my life and couldn’t have imagined a more perfect proposal. My Best friend/MOH was there with her bf and was truly embracing the day. She was so happy and supportive and seemed to be a different person- so I thought she had changed her opinion of my Fiance and I.
Recently when we were talking she informed me that she does not think my Fiance deserves me and that he does not treat me right. She states that she will support me and be happy for me, as long as I am happy. However, she does not believe that my Fiance is the man for me. I know she has my best interest in mind, but she does not like him or us as a couple. She has informed me that she will support me in whatever I do, but that she doesn’t want me to marry him, and that no matter what happens in our marriage or however it turns out, she will be there for me. Because I know how she really feels about us, I have decided that I will talk to her about skipping a speech as it would not be sincere or genuine. My Maid/Matron of Honor does not know my Fiance other than when we went to elementary school together, and does not spend any time with us or know how we are as a couple.
But here’s the dilemma– my mother and Fiance both say that the people standing next to me on my wedding day- should be people who not only support me, but my husband and our marriage; and that she should not be standing beside me as part of my bridal party. My Fiance is very willing to keep her in the wedding if that will make me happy, but he knows how she feels about him and he strongly dislikes her at this point as she is judging him without even knowing him. I am afraid I will look back 10 years from now and regret this, no matter what decision I make.But I already know that on my weddingday, every time I look at her, I will be thinking about how she does not want me to marry him.
Do I keep her in the wedding and just demote her, or do I find a way to tell her that she cannot be a part of our wedding as she is not supporting us as a couple?