- 4 years ago
- Wedding: January 2014
I have created an alternate name to post this one. I hoped I would never have to do this…
I will try to make this as short as possible while still including enough detail to tell the story.
This morning I found some well…inappropriate pictures on my fiance’s computer in a file simply titled “wr.” There were around 8 of them, all of the same woman. A few showed her face but most showed…other parts. Let’s just say I know a lot about this woman without knowing who she is. They were not professional pictures and neither was she if you know what I mean. There were also a few shots of a guy’s erection but I could easily tell these were not of my fiance.
To me it looked like pictures shared in a sexually explicit conversation online, not just some photos found around the web somewhere. He also had downloaded Yahoo Messenger in January for some reason. My guess it that they go hand in hand.
In the past, I happened upon conversations between him and a few girls over FB chat which we had addressed and made up over. It happened another time with my best friend and a few others but there were no pictures with any of these. He was the aggressor and I have no longer have ill feelings toward my friend (even though I do wish she would have told me rather than me finding them). During the conversations with my fiance after finding these things, he was very defensive even when I just asked for a simple explanation and he never gave a good one. He always just said “I don’t know” blah blah blah and used the excuse that he was on the road (for work, he traveled to different sites for the majority of the week) and was lonely in his hotel room. He would also find ways to spin things back on and blame me. Mostly for snooping. But honestly, I don’t feel bad anymore for doing so because the first time I found something, it was a complete accident and we had never really even had a big argument at the time. Then of course after that the trust was not there and I was always wondering what he was doing behind my back. He also didn’t trust me because of the snooping. He changed passwords (naturally) which made things worse because to me it just proved he was hiding something behind all of those excuses. But eventually he told me his computer password.
So after a few rounds of that, we finally made up and started to move forward. He promised to stop all online conversations and talk to me if he had problems. We were doing great for a long time, got engaged, decided to move in together a few months ago, and even got a puppy. Things were going great! Well, our sex life started to get pretty sparse which I worried about because I know him. That’s when I started to get concerned again and decided to check his computer.
The time stamp on the photos was from Feb 22 of this year. The file had last been accessed last month but I think just to reflect and…re-enjoy those pictures again.
I know it is partially my fault for staying with him even after knowing he did those awful things in the past. I thought we could get past it together. It is so crazy because in person he is amazing. Very loving, generous, and would bend over backwards for you. It is seriously like Jekyll and Hyde. I just wonder how much of it is a lie. If he loved me so much (which he always goes on about not only to me, but to my friends, sisters, etc.) and wants to protect me etc., why would he do something this awful?
Anyway, if anyone has gone through something similar let me know. I hope this was easy enough to follow. I’m pretty emotional right now and am having trouble thinking straight. I am going to talk to him today after not being able to concentrate here at work. Please no harsh comments though
Thanks, Bees 🙂