Post # 1
I am Christian, but my FI is not. It’s important to me that we are married by a pastor (FI understands and agrees).
My challenge is that my church pastor requires religious pre-marital counseling through the church, and will only marry couples that are Christian and are members of the church. Do you have any advise on how I can find a pastor that will marry us even though my FI is not a Christian?
Also, I think that pre-marital counseling will be very helpful, but don’t necessarily want to enroll in the church program because I’m pretty sure that they’ll bring up the bible verse about a believer marrying a non-believer…I just want this to be a positive and enriching experience for the both of us. Have you done any pre-marital classes outside of the church? Any suggestions?
Post # 3
My FI and I are both spiritual but not religious. I was born Catholic and am aware of the whole premarital counseling clause…lol. We ended up going with a very open and accepting church called the Metropolitan Community Church. Very God-based and Christian, but loving and respectful towards all beliefs. Our minister had us do a really in-depth session with him beforehand probing our intimate life at home to ensure that we are right for one another and understand the sanctity and reality of marriage. Then he agreed to marry us and now we move on to ceremony planning, etc. I suggest you find a Christian open church. Unity churches are very good, as are Unitarian Universalist churches. Good luck!
Post # 4
@missjo117:I’m in the same boat as you. I don’t know what to do either. It’s so important to have a pastor marry my FI and I, but I’m so afraid our pastor will reject us.
Post # 5
Try the United Methodist Church they tend to be more liberal minded.
Post # 6
Okay, so here’s an update…
I contacted the church I attended in college. They’re Evangelical and very third culture. They don’t have any requirements for couples to participate in their pre-marital couseling program. As for the officiant…They said that it’s really up to the pastor (church as multiple pastors). It’s on the basis of the pastor’s personal conviction and it’s a case-by-case situation with each couple. So no guarantees, but at least we didn’t get turned away…?