(Closed) Need an uplift!!

posted 7 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
2523 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

I don’t know how long it takes for rings to come in, but I see why you’re anxious: the time is getting closer!

But remember that May isn’t over yet either, and there might be some magic going on. I’m sure he’s aware of the time crunch…and maybe he already has your ring, but you don’t know it? Guys can be tricky creatures sometimes!

I’m sure everything will work out fine…just keep up your efforts of staying quiet until the deadline, and see what happens. Waiting is stressful, I know.

I know great things will happen!

Good luck! <3

Post # 5
Member
2523 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

@Anxiouspeanut: Oh that sucks. 🙁 Honestly, if it were me, I would say something. Even though I’d probably want to yell, try to keep calm about it when you talk to him. But definitely don’t say anything until after July 3rd!

Post # 7
Member
213 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

What is the deadline?  And why do you have one?  I know it’s really hard waiting… but once he’s given it to you, you take over and plan the wedding.  Just let him deal with the ring and proposal.  If you really need to keep yourself occupied while you silently wait, start planning the wedding.  Research locations, start thinking about colors, look at dress ideas online.  But I would just wait and let it happen.  I think a lot of us have been in your shoes, but you really dont want to ruin the moment, or the surprise… or feel like you forced him into doing it when you wanted, rather than when he did.  Even if it does take longer- really in the LONG run… a few weeks or even months isnt anything.  Just take a deep breath and focus on other things. 

Post # 10
Member
2523 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

@Anxiouspeanut: Then I wouldn’t say anything for a couple of weeks after July 3rd. But don’t worry just yet! July isn’t here yet, and neither is June. Just take deep breaths and know it’s going to happen.

As someone with high anxiety issues, I know how easy it is to let this eat you up.  Waiting isn’t always the most fun. But we can’t let our anxieties rule us: we must rule them!

You can do it, girl. You’ve come this far, so I know you can keep it up! If you ever need to talk about it more, you can always PM me or know that the Bee is here to support you. <3

Post # 11
Member
3302 posts
Sugar bee

I don’t understand how he is dragging this out- you are not giving him enough time.

Honestly- just listen for a minute. Your FIRST dating anniversary isn’t here yet, he JUST got a job after being unemployed for a while, he is saving- he is trying his best. You know he wants to marry you, you know he is working on saving for a ring- why don’t you lay off of it? He is trying his best to do this in a timely fashion but this is HIS proposal- just because you have a deadline of when it should be done by, doesn’t mean it will happen by then- you don’t NEED a year to plan a wedding and if you truly in your heart feel you need a year, then you need to be ready to adjust your timeline due to life happening. Life doesn’t operate when you want it to- it happens, when it happens.

I am not writing this to be snarky or anything of the sort. I am trying to genuinely support you but it gets so hard to write something supportive when you posts reek of being insensitive to him and HIS timing. It really seems like you only want the ring and the wedding- WHAT ABOUT HIM??????????

  • You have a man who you KNOW wants to marry you.

 

  • He is saving for a ring.

 

  • He talks to you FREQUENTLY about getting engaged.

 

  • He is trying his best.

You have a lot more than most women are getting- your guy has no questions or doubts- he is trying to save for a ring, a ring that HE PICKED OUT. He hasn’t forgetten, it is always on his mind, he is thinking about it and HE IS TRYING. It makes me so upset to see that you have put a deadline on it just because YOU want to get married on that specific date and you can not be flexible to adjust should things like a proposal happen later than you want.

Gosh girl- get a GRIP on yourself.

 

Post # 12
Member
3302 posts
Sugar bee

And just to clarify, if you were with him for YEARS- then yes, I would agree, he is probably dragging this out but both of you haven’t even been together a whole YEAR yet and he JUST got a job after being unemployed- give him a break- he is working on it. You can not control HIS PROPOSAL.

Post # 13
Member
213 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I get that you are frustrated waiting… I do… I waited for over 1.5 years.  I thought hs was going to propose on our first anniversary… and he didnt.  I thought by our second he would.. no.. We talked about it all the time, and I knew it was coming, and yes… it was very hard to wait. And now, yes I have a ring on my finger now- but I also have an amazing story because of it. He bought the most amazing ring, and took me to Jamaica to propose in a cave.  I had a friend who pushed and pushed and set a deadline… until finally he went out and bought literally the first ring he saw, came home and gave it to her.  No romance.  I have another friend who I counciled about the same thing a month ago- and told her to relax- she did and just called me last weekend estatic.  I’m not saying its going to happen tomorrow.  But you know it will happen.  And as far as wedding vendors- you will find some… the whole thing about them being booked- maybe the venue- but you’ll either switch dates or find something that works better.  I went through 4 venues before booking what is the perfect venue only 6 months from our date- and got a huge discount on top of it. 

I never said it wasnt hard waiting.  I just said that you may need to in this situation.  And it helps when you think of what the time scale REALLY is.  He wants to spend his life with you.  And he will.  He will propose- on his time.  In the end even if you had to wait another year- out of what could be 40 or 50 or 60 if you are lucky… one year… 6 months… not a huge time to wait.  That;s all I’m saying.  In the end, you WILL feel better about not badgering him.  Somethign strange happens when you get engaged and closer to the wedding… you start worrying that he doesnt want to marry you… for Crazy reasons… I just dont want you to have those fears because you pushed him. 

So even though its hard.  Take a deep breath and keep looking at venues.  Keep looking at fun things, but remember… it WILL happen.  And you will be SO happy when it does, but you’ll also be happy if you let him do it his way on his time.

Post # 15
Member
600 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2006

@OneLove04210: “I never said it wasnt hard waiting.  I just said that you may need to in this situation.  And it helps when you think of what the time scale REALLY is.  He wants to spend his life with you.  And he will.  He will propose- on his time.  In the end even if you had to wait another year- out of what could be 40 or 50 or 60 if you are lucky… one year… 6 months… not a huge time to wait.  That;s all I’m saying.  In the end, you WILL feel better about not badgering him.  Somethign strange happens when you get engaged and closer to the wedding… you start worrying that he doesnt want to marry you… for Crazy reasons… I just dont want you to have those fears because you pushed him.”

OMG exactly that!!!  We waiting ladies really NEED to take the longview.  We’re going to be together until death (if all goes well, haha) what’s another 6 months, year, 1.5 years when you look at it that way??? 

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