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Hey guys.
I've been trying to work on our wedding website, but I'm stuck at the how we met story.
We met playing an online game (something very very atypical for me, I only play one!). We met online in December 2007, I met him in person the first time in January 2008, we did the long distance thing until April 2008, and then we moved in together. Our first date was me making the 5 hour drive to see him, a pizza, and then I spend a week with him in his tiny apartment, so that's not really a story for the grandparents either.
Add all this to the fact that he's 10 years older than I am, and it's a lot to swallow for some of our older relatives. My family that has met him LOVES him, but not very many people have had the opportunity to meet him yet.
So, anyway, I'm not sure whether I should put it all out there, or whether to edit some of it. The fact that our first meeting ended up being a weeklong stint in a studio apartment isn't something I'm sure I want out there, though it's what happened. I'm not embarassed by him at ALL, and he would be just fine to tell everyone the whole story, complete with extensive details. I just can't decide whether I want everyone to know everything, and then field all of the questions and the sideways glances, or whether, I should omit some of the more scandalous aspects.
Maybe you just can say that you met online and that your first date was going out for pizza?
Well, think of it this way: you don't have to put everything on your wedding website. You don't have to put ANYTHING on it, really--whatever you want. So there's no need to go into great detail if you don't feel like it. A lot of people don't really explore those parts of the website that much anyway, especially older people.
If it makes you feel any better, FI and I met under pretty much the most awful circumstances possible. We met through a mutual friend, who happened to be, you know, his girlfriend at the time. Their relationship was completely disintegrating, and I was not really involved with its disintegration, but still, very, very bad, and taking the scandalous to a whole new level (your story doesn't sound bad to me at all, lol!). We don't tend to tell family members this story. What we did with our wedding website for the "Our Story" part was to give a brief summary of our relationship and then say "our story-with recipes" since cooking and eating together is how we fell in love--we focused instead on highlighting something we share that we can share with others, which sums us up better anyway. I don't think anyone cares that there's no super-detailed narrative on there--frankly I don't think most people are all that interested in us anyway. So maybe try avoiding a sort of linear re-telling of your story and focus on a cute aspect of your lives together instead!
I wasn't going to put any "how we met" info on our webpage. I figure people just need the hotel info, shuttle info, directions, and registry, and that they probably don't really care about the rest. Plus, I'm lazy.
We met when FI was my student (he was a businessman student)...so that's a fun story to tell when my (now university) students ask how we met!!!
I agree with danadelphia - if you are worried about how your story will be received, keep it simple!
I always hate the "how we met" question... Because pretty much it's my last engagement ending and me "jumping" into Jason's arms (and home)... Now thats not how it ACTUALLY happened, there was alot more involved, but that's who it looks from the outside. I'll probably fore-go the "How we met" section (when we finally do get engaged). Although his family all knows the story and they accept me anyway and I've only met them a few times and his parent's always tell me they love me... So it's pretty sweet. I think they can see how happy Jason is (and how much I love him) so they don't really care HOW we met or how our relationship started.
I say, sugar coat it for the older folks, and keep the details to a minimum.
I like that idea ginandtonic, that's cute!
Truth be told, I wasn't even going to make a website, (we're having a small wedding, 30 people), but he really, really wants one, so I figured I should.
He's an artist, maybe I can ask him to draw things, and have it be our story in pictures, like a comic strip. Now that I think about it, it would be a great way to introduce my family to his talents, and still put the bare bones out there.
Hey, you guys have great ideas! 
I'll probably skip the how-we-met too for two reasons. 1) We met on match.com which is both a short story and not a very interesting one. 2) everyone that is coming to the wedding already knows how we met (i think)
honestly i'd just skip it
OOOOH I think the comic strip idea sounds FANTASTIC! That sounds like a great solution to me!
Just tell the story of your first date! If anybody asks how you met, they'll ask at your wedding and you can tell then.
I don't like our story of how we met (I messaged him on myspace- GAG) so I just didn't add it to our page. If people want to know, they'll ask!
eehhh....I think our meeting story is a LOT worse! It's funny though and we laugh about it with our friends...but I really didn't want my family to know all the gritty details!
I just shortened mine down to include ONLY the romantic, sweet things and left it at that!
I like the part that you met online and then drove 5 hours to meet eachother. YOu (obviously) knew it was right from the very beginning....and here you are now!
Period. :)
Although we just met at work, I'm leaving it out entirely!
Just info about the event will go on our site.
I was just trying to figure out how to tackle this one too. We met because he randomly IMed from America Online and we started talking and finally met. I never talked to people I don't know online but for some reason I did with him. It has a happy ending, but I just hate the stigma of meeting online, like we were two desperate people who couldn't meet anyone in real life, which is totally untrue, and I know its untrue for most people who meet online as well. It is just that very little people on the outside see it that way unfortunately. Usually we just tell people we met through mutual friends in a bar, which is probably a worse story to have, but people seem to accept it more, haha, anyway, I am thinking of just skipping that section altogether as well.
I definitely kept ours very general and focused on the romantic parts. I don't think there's any requirement to be super-detailed on the wedding website.
many many couples meet online nowadays, but i can still understand why it would be difficult for our elders to fathom. keep it simple and just say something like "he made me laugh" or something sweet. no need to get into the nitty gritty details.
my fi and i met after he secretly stalked me at a show i played, and then we spent the first week together drinking tequila and playing beer pong...probably not the best story for the kids. :)
If it makes you feel any better, our first date ended with us skinny dipping, then me wearing his clothes back to my house (That I shared with my brother, a GM in the wedding) at 4am. I'm pretty sure it's going to be brought up in a GM speech or something at the wedding. Oh well.
As for the meeting online thing...My friend that just got married and is very good with writing, put the follow, i thought it was cute:
"Those of you who know us well probably already know the story of how we met. We didn't meet through work or friends or by random chance like all the love stories out there. Our story is a little different. We met online. And we still laugh about it to this day!
Dave and I started chatting online in January of 2005. We chatted for a couple of months without ever even hearing each others voices. Then around March we decided we felt 'safe' enough to exchange phone numbers. I think a couple of texts were our first contact. Then phone calls. Then, our first date came on April 30th. Dave had invited to me to Kansas City to a Sarah McLaughlin concert. The invite was perfect, because I was actually in the process of moving to Kansas City! The first time Dave stepped into my apartment and we hugged as we greeted, I had this feeling about him. I knew he was special. I didn't have one fear about leaving town with this stranger. We weren't anxious around each other or nervous at all! There was instant chemistry. That date was amazing and we laughed and talked the entire 2 hour drive to Kansas City and the entire 2 hours back. I guess you could say the rest is history."
I think telling the story of your first date would be cute if you don't want all the details out there! Something like, "we met over our love of pizza, and the rest is history!" Definitely doesn't have to be long or totally detailed...just something that makes people say, "awe!"
honestly, i just read a friends wedding website that went on FOREVER about their "how we met" and "proposal story" to the point where it was just plain boring. i would keep it short and sweet anyway, not only for the reasons you pointed out, but because people don't want to read hour long stories.
I think it's fine to leave out the "How we met" story from your wedding website. Our site is purely practical - info on logistics, hotels, etc. I figure that if people don't know us well enough to know how we met or who the members of our wedding party are, then they don't need to read this information for the first time on our wedding website!
WOW! I have a similiar type story. Me and my FI met at his cousin's house. I was there with my bff and her hubby, and he was there with someone else! I was working on our web site this past weekend, and was trying to figure out how I could explain that sticky situation! However, I think you can just say that you met online and met him for pizza for your first date!
Wow you guys, I'm loving these stories.
I totally agree that I get bored with the long drawn out things, but I feel weird skipping it altogether.
Thank you for all the advice about keeping it short, it's sort of a shame about the stigma really.
When we met in person, we talked for hours, I changed into old gray sweatpants, and we went to bed. And right before I fell asleep, I asked him to bring home some milk on his way home from work. Yes, a day after meeting me, he left me alone in his apartment while he worked all day. It just...worked. We never really dated, we just weren't in a relationship, and then we were. There was a record breaking blizzard that week, so we lived in sweats and on sandwiches and cereal.
It was really sort of awesome. :)
o0olibelulao0o: That's the exact same way my BF and I got together! We actually met in middle school and dated in 11th grade, but we ended up splitting up and I went on to have a very serious 4 year relationship with someone else, and we ended up getting engaged, but my BF and I never really lost touch or lost the connection, and when my relationship ended because of reasons that had nothing to do with my BF, he and I reconnected and pretty much picked up right where we left off, and everyone around us thinks we moved too fast, or jumped into things, but the story is so incredibly complicated and there's so much more to it that both of us know that this is where we're supposed to be and where we should've been all along, even if others can't see that.. I guess it's just nice to see that others have gone through similar situations and it has worked out, because I really have no doubt in my mind that he and I will work, no matter how unorthodox the beginning of our relationship was..
I'm editing out that page completely. We met in a bar in NYC and the rest of the story is definitely not G-rated so I'm just not going to bother with it. It's unneccesary to me. The main purpose of the website is to give practical information about travel, lodging, time, locations, etc. to your guests so just stick with the basics if you're not comfortable telling the story.
My mom doesn't know the whole story about how we met because I somehow managed not to tell her about him for 10 whole months. Sooo for the Our Story part of the website, I decided to let FI give it a try because he is a better writer than I am. Thirty minutes later he comes back with a long story about how he and Chuck Norris rescued me from terrorists! Its hilarious! The only true part of it is the name of the restaurant where we met. It was too funny not to use it though. So far its been a big hit!
Yeah.. I was thinking about that too, people ask how we met and I say "Online" and leave it at that... In actuality the boy was just supposed to be a hookup- we were both ending crappy relationships, and I wanted to be single for a while. Our first date involved me riding in his truck with him to houston and back (from austin) and we had lunch at whataburger because his truck and trailer wouldn't fit anywhere else. I moved in 2 months later when my roommates got crappy... it just works, so whats the sense in fighting it, right? So what if things aren't story book- you can keep the details to yourself and if anyone pokes around too much make something ridiculous up and they will leave you alone about it!
Ooooh or you could tell about how you met in the game? Leave the real life stuff out and just say something like "Lady Serinity was trapped in a cave with a giant mole rat, and Sir Mixalot used his pink powder puff bomb to stun the mole rat, and rescued the lovely lady Serinity" It wont make sense to a lot of the people, but you could make it funny and cute/dorky.
Hah! Yeah, we play World of Warcrack, and he actually did come to rescue me because I have a horrid sense of direction, in real life, and in computer games.
@amac25, that's adorable! He loves to make up outlandish stories too, he often tells "bedtime stories" that have us not sleeping at all because we're making each other laugh.
Also, we make up conversations between our pets. Oh yeah, we're total dorks.
@ armywife: it is good to see! Jason and I had a connection from the minute we met (whether I was in a huge fight with my ex and about to be cheated on or not) we were drawn to eachother. And we were not eachother's "TYPE" at all, he likes skinny blonde girls with big boobs (I was a red-head at the time and I'm not tall and my boobs don't even count as large), and I've always like the tall dark and handsome type thing (Jason is only about 5' 9"-5'10", when I wear heels I'm the same height, a little chubby, light brown/blonde hair...) But we were instantly friends when we met, best friends after a week, completely in love after two weeks. But I was still with the other guy, so we had to stop talking (:() then I left the other guy, and Jason jumped at the chance. :) We've been happy ever since. :)
I am not far enough along in planning to have to deal with a webpage, but when FI and I were first dating how did you meet was a common question.
I never came up with a good answer- we met through his wife. She was a co-worker and good friend of mine who met someone new and left her husband to be with a new guy. I always thought her husband was a great guy, but I didn't know him all that well. He came into the clinic almost a year later with a new puppy and we leaped headfirst into the best relationship ever.
It seems really awful that I was friends with his wife, but it is not like we did anything inappropriate and the shared history sometimes makes things easier.
You could just be vague and say "our love of "___" game brought us together. We spent our first date doing X, and so on. Having that intro sentence for how we met will be good b/c you won't be leaving it out (like you wanted) and its fun!
I met my husband at 3AM after a night of partying and made out with him the first night we met (def not a story for the elders or our website) so I cleaned it up and made it sound all lovey :)
Well, truth be told. We met online too. My family doesn't know that. I told them he was a friend of a friend and he fixed my computer and asked me out. His mom is much more open and accepting of those things, and knows the whole truth. 5 years later, and my family still doesn't know. I don't think they ever will and I think I'm okay with that.
@o0olibelulao0o: Awww that's so sweet!! I'm glad you have your happily ever after :) It MUST be fate since neither one of you is the other's type..
I, too, have struggled at times with the how we met story. We met through our friends because my friend was dating FIs friend and we were going to his apartment to pick up alcohol (we were under 21). That is when I met FI for the first time. A few days later we saw each other again at a party and talked the whole night. About 2 days after that I showed up (somewhat intoxicated) at his doorstep and well....you know. Then after that night we were literally together all the time! Definitely NOT an appropriate dating story to tell family! And like you, we never dated, we just werent in a relationship and then we were! We never had a "first date" or anything like that and it used to get me down. SO when it came time to do the website this is what I wrote.....
Noah and I met in January of 2006 through our friends who were also dating. About a week after we met we saw each other again at a party and instead of socializing, found ourselves talking to each other for 3 hours. After that night, we realized that we had an instant connection and became best friends. Now, 4 years later, we are planning our wedding!!
Its short and sweet and is truthful yet not too revealing!! And then, like other bees have suggested, I put a little bit about what we love NOW as a couple:
Anyone that knows Noah and I will attest to how much we love our animals. They are practically our children. Our pets (Nixon, Kiddie and Eddie) are a huge part of our lives and we would do [almost] anything for them. All 3 of them are rescue animals and if we had more room,time,and money we would probably adopt every kitten and puppy we could possibly find!
It lets people know a little bit about us together without going into too much detail! Anyways, your story is just that - its yours and no one else's so be proud of that!
Oh man it's nice to see that not everyone has a safe-for-all how-we-met story!
FI and I met at goth/industrial night at a club in DC. He just introduced himself, no mutual friends or anything, and then he was a good kisser and I was impressed by his cojones so we exchanged numbers, I told him I wouldn't call him so he'd have to call me, and then he did! We had actually both planned to start dating casually that night...
I'm keeping it short, substituting the goth nightclub thing with "we met in dc", and focusing on how we both made a real effort to keep in touch with one another even when it would have been easy to let it go.
The five-hour drive to meet someone you felt a connection with is really romantic, and you can just say you felt comfortable together right away - that's what hanging alone at his house means, anyway! I agree that skipping the sleeping in his apt for a week thing is a good move. If you don't think of yourself as a gamer, than 'online' might be better than 'playing blank online'.
Rather than describe the first encounter, i would just describe early in you relationship...It all started as a long distance relationship...maybe add some detail about how you knew it was getting serious or when the 2 of you realized this was the person you want to spend the rest of your life with... you can pick and choose some of the cuter/more appropriate events from early in your relationship to gloss over how you met.
I can beat the 5 hour drive...my FI flew 3,000 miles to meet me and then I flew over to the Netherlands to live with him. ;-)
Like the OP, I met FI in an online game. Gosh, it has to be almost 8 or 9 years ago. We were in the same guild at the time but due to the time differece, rarely talked. One Saturday he was in my raid group (I know this doesn't mean much to non MMO players...) and we started chatting. This lead to trying to play togeather whenever we could and that lead to IMing each other every day. That lead to webcam chats...about this point a mutual friend (RL friend for me) in the same guild told us to just meet already.
So in July 2005 he flew over to Florida to visit me for a month. All I can say is love at first sight really does exist and when he hugged me for the first time in person I didn't want it to end. ;-) So, we didn't let it. On December 5th, 2005, I packed up and flew to the Netherlands where we've happily been living together ever since.
I think if you talk to gamers, both the computer and table top type, this is how they typically find their partners. It's such a small world and there's only so many people with the same interest...it really works out better if the other understands your addictions. Like having to buy new dice everytime you come across some. LOL
What about saying it something like this:
Not usually the type to spend a lot of time gaming online, QuietSerenity definitely had a winning moment while playing [game] in December 2007 - she met MrQS! After getting to know each other a little more, their friendship melted/blossomed/transformed/developed into a relationship a month later, despite the physical distance between them. In April, QuietSerenity moved to be with MrQS, and they’ve been going strong every since.
Hahaha, my FI actually met online as well- Myspace to be exact! He had never messaged a girl before that he didn't know and I had never responded to any message I had received from someone I didn't know. However, when I got his message telling me my smile was too beautiful not to comment on, I couldn't resist writing back. We spoke for a few weeks online and on the phone before our first date, and I actually even gave my best friends his online info and phone number 'just in case' because I had never done anything that crazy! 4 years later, he's my FH! We are still struggling with how to write this up for a webpage or even tell people who ask at the showers/wedding, so I love this thread! Keep the stories coming :)
I deleted the "how we met" section from our wedding website on theknot.com. I see our website as a place people can go for directions and further details on the wedding, not us as a couple. Each of our guests know me well (or my FI well) and I just didn't feel like writing out that long story online.
You can do the same- my website has worked out great :) I did post a photo or too, because that is what I always love seeing on other websites.
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