Post # 1
I was super excited all week to go dress shopping. I went to the local Davids Bridal. As a true plus size woman, size 22-26 depending on the shirt, and size 20-22 in pants who is only 5’3 (unlike the size 12 5’11 “plus size” models) I was soo sad that a lot of dresses I wanted to try on were unavailable. There were only about four I could really look at. That was my first disappointment.
Secondly, my mom was being a pain in the ass. Almost nothing positive came from her mouth. I was near tears. It did not help the woman assigned to me today was a bit sharpe tongued and a know it all. She proceeded to berate me for a few minutes, in front of other guests, about not having escorts for the Maids of Honor. Most weddings I’ve been to they walked alone. I want to know where the manual is that says all weddings have to look the same. Of course I gave it back to her, despite her tell me that she does weddings for a living. I wanted to tell her just because she dresses brides does not mean her ideas are law.
Third, the cut of dress I always wanted, corset style with a flared skirt, looked terrible on my apple shape. My shoulders and G cup breasts looked larger than normal and I looked bloated. I found a dress that I kinda liked, but does it look matronly for a 27 year old bride? I have the link below.
Sigh, I had such high hopes and now I feel terrible. I kinda like the dress below. It is classy and classic, but does it look retro?
Thanks for listening bees 🙂
Post # 3
I’m sorry your first dress shopping trip didn’t go well. Maybe you should try Davids Bridal at a different time. Maybe go one day around lunch by yourself. See what you like. Also, if there is a dress you like but its not in your size, ask them what stores do have it in size so you can go try it on. Maybe they can even ship it to your store for you?
Post # 4
First, I’m so sorry you had a negative experience! It sounds like a number of things just didn’t go your way. Don’t give up, though!
About your mom, is she always like that? Is there anything going on with her that would influence her behavior and attitude? Would it do any good to talk with her? If she can’t be supportive, maybe you should try next time with a good friend.
About the dress, I can’t comment on the dress because I don’t see the link, but it is definitely disappointing when your dream dress doesn’t look the same on you as you envisioned. It’s possible that the style you like isn’t a good fit for your body type and you just need to look at additional styles. I had this happen, too, and had to figure out how to roll with it, trying on different cuts until I found one I liked.
About the saleswoman, forget her. She has bigger issues that have nothing to do with you. Have your girls walk in alone if that’s what you want. I’ve seen it done both ways and it works equally well!
Big hugs, honey. Better luck next time – if you want more support and are in MN, give me a call and I’ll go with you!
Post # 5
You deserve a hug and the knowledge that you are not alone!!! First, try try again– different shops, AND styles that you normally wouldnt try. You’ll be surprised by what looks really good on you. Don’t judge the dress on the hanger. Try it on! If your size isn’t available, their loss, keep looking and don’t settle. YOUR dress is out there and you will feel stunning in it.
Secondly, as far as the “rule book” I applaud you for not wanting a cookie cutter wedding– but rather wanting it to be YOUR wedding. That’s how it shoudl be, and furthermore, guests remember what was different or special about weddings, not what was the exact same as every other wedding they’ve ever been to. It’s truly frustrating when people– moms, friends, sales associates, etc.–try to make the planning process (esp the dress shopping) about themselves or their own experiences. It’s not theirs, it’s yours. As much as we love them, they might need to be gently reminded of this or at least ignored. If no one is making you feel like the star of your custom-designed day, then let the bees do that for you. SO many of us have probably been there.
Personally, I know that my first experience was a distaster. It was every one else’s day– not mine, and I didn’t find anything that I liked so I came home ready to give up and settle. But then I regrouped, surrounded myself with supportive people that were excited FOR me, not INSTEAD of me and am now having an amazing time planning my wedding.
I didn’t see your picture? Did it get posted?
Post # 6
So sorry your first dress shopping venture turned out like that. Your shopping experience at DB (I’m not bashing DB as I know many brides had really positive experiences there) sounds similar to mine. The consultant I was working with just wouldn’t listen to my dress preferences and really seemed uncomfortable with my size (at that time I was about a 14/16 & I am 5’6).Happily I found my dress at a store in my city and the experience was night and day.
Keep looking! You will find something!
Post # 7
i am so sorry your first experience dress shopping was difficult. dont give up! your dress is out there! Have you ever thought of ordering one online? We bought my sister’s dress (size 24) from lightinthebox. very reasonably priced and good quality. It looked beautiful on her
maybe something like this?
They have a plus size section but check out ALL the wedding gowns because you can get any dress in any size up to 26W. Even check out the bridemaids dresses, you can get them in white in any size.
For your body shape i would suggest an a-line that clings at the bottom of your bust or at the waist. i think this dress is really beautiful
Post # 8
@LuvMySailor: p.s. – Dont let other people get you down. After all it is a day about you and FI and celebrating your love for each other in whatever way is special to you. you only get to do it once so do it your way 🙂
Post # 9
I’m sorry your first trip went like this. Keep your chin up! I started shopping alone, which has made a difference. Your opinion doesn’t get confused with the opinions of others when it’s just you. I would shake off the comments by the salesgirl too… she sounds miserable. Also, the ideas about my dress that I had originally did not look good on my figure either and after trying on tons of different styles I have learned the shape that looks the best, so keep at it!