Post # 1
I was super excited all week to go dress shopping. I went to the local Davids Bridal. As a true plus size woman, size 22-26 depending on the shirt, and size 20-22 in pants who is only 5’3 (unlike the size 12 5’11 “plus size” models) I was soo sad that a lot of dresses I wanted to try on were unavailable. There were only about four I could really look at. That was my first disappointment.
Secondly, my mom was being a pain in the ass. Almost nothing positive came from her mouth. I was near tears. It did not help the woman assigned to me today was a bit sharpe tongued and a know it all. She proceeded to berate me for a few minutes, in front of other guests, about not having escorts for the Maids of Honor. Most weddings I’ve been to they walked alone. I want to know where the manual is that says all weddings have to look the same. Of course I gave it back to her, despite her tell me that she does weddings for a living. I wanted to tell her just because she dresses brides does not mean her ideas are law.
Third, the cut of dress I always wanted, corset style with a flared skirt, looked terrible on my apple shape. My shoulders and G cup breasts looked larger than normal and I looked bloated. I found a dress that I kinda liked, but does it look matronly for a 27 year old bride? I have the link below.
Sigh, I had such high hopes and now I feel terrible. I kinda like the dress below. It is classy and classic, but does it look retro?
Thanks for listening bees 🙂
Post # 3
I can’t see the pics you posted for some reason.
I think a lot of people have that moment when they first try on a dress, you have an image of what you think it’ll look like and we non-models just don’t fulfill it. The styles I covet look AWFUL on me, but great in the magazines haha. Don’t let anyone make you feel bad about anything YOU want on YOUR wedding. I’m having no bridesmaids and just my sister as MOH and she’s walking alone, and everyone feels like they get to comment on that. If the store clerk is bitchy LEAVE! You can get great treatment that makes you feel like a valued customer elsewhere. Don’t worry though girl! You’ll find something you love this was just your first trip out!
Post # 4
@JerseyGirlLaur: It’s here
Post # 5
I don’t think that dress looks matronly at ALL!!! It is very romantic.
I’m so sorry you had such a negative experience dress shopping. It sounds like that salesgirl was a complete jerk–so what if she has seen lots of brides? It’s your wedding!!!! You’d think that seeing so many people would make her more open to doing things differently. UGH!
Do you have someone you can go shopping with instead of your mom? Maybe at a place like Alfred Angelo, or another salon that carries plus sizes? If no one else can go with you, I would try to go alone, when the store isn’t crowded.
You might have a better experience next time if you call beforehand and explain that you are really looking for a consultant who has experience working with plus-sized brides (and just treating people well in GENERAL!).
Good luck! Don’t give up, and don’t let other people make you feel bad!
Post # 6
I think that dress is pretty! Go with a friend and get a nicer sales girl. My mom was not great either, she hated my dress…and I bought it anyway.
Post # 7
Thank you ladies. I really think I am going to go with this dress. It is growing on me.
Post # 8
I like that dress!! But I don’t think you should plan to buy it right away. I would at least go to another store (even if its just another David’s Bridal with a better selection) that might have a few more options… and consider taking someone other than your mother. I had similar problems with dress shopping. When I eventually found my dress I only took my sister because I couldn’t handle much of the extra “help”
The other thing you might want to consider is alterations. These can make a HUGE difference with the final appearance of the dress. One of my favorite gowns I tried on also looked too matronly for me, but when the lady played with the straps she was able to make it look a lot younger. I don’t know if want the cap sleeves but that is something they might be able to adjust.
Whatever you do, though, don’t buy from that sales girl. She was out of line and there is no reason that you should buy a dress from her. You are supposed to feel good walking out of the bridal salon when you buy your dress, and she just made you feel bad.
P.S. I hope you gave that sales lady some trouble! I had one that kept calling me a child (I look young but I’m 28!) and saying that she knew best so by the time I left I was reminding her that she was OLD and that her traditions are outdated… it was rude I know, but she totally deserved it!
Post # 9
@LuvMySailor: Let me just say, I lived your experience about three weeks ago. THAT dress AND David’s Bridal AND a crappy sales associate. I’m short and plus sized and I left a bit sad and frustrated. I did take a picture of myself in that dress and I like it, but I’m not IN LOVE with it. You are not alone in your experience and we both will find our dream dresses, I’m sure of it! 🙂
Post # 10
I tried that dress on and loved it, except the lace was itchy and driving me nuts. I dont think its matronly AT ALL.
I totally understand where your coming from being plus size. I’m a size 24 and was DREADING my first DB appointment. Surprisingly, it was AWESOME. I didn’t find my dress but I also didn’t expect to (we only went to see what styles would look good on me). I was told that their new line comes out in January.
I had a terrible experience with DB in the past (for friends weddings) so I was not happy having to go there to try on dresses but being plus sized and on a budget doesn’t leave me with many options. My consultant this time was AMAZING.
If I were you, I would wait until January or February and make another appointment but this time with a different consultant. Ask around (maybe your local board on WB) to see if any other brides have gone through DB and can suggest a great consultant. If you can get a good consultant, I guarantee your experience will be much better. I know mine was. Good luck!
Post # 11
I’m so sorry your first time out sucked. I would considering hitting up a store with plus size formal dresses (call around, or even just hit the mall) to get a sense of what shapes you DO like and that make your body look it’s best. Then try to find it bridal style.
Also, as a plus size girl too, might I suggest getting a dress custom designed? I am pear shaped and super short waisted, so I look awkward in any RTW dress that doesn’t have a higher waist line (to sit at my natural waist). Once I started making clothes though I realized I could wear a whole host of styles I never thought I could just because the cuts were wrong for my torso. Given how much wedding dresses cost, it can cost about the same to get it made. I had a replica of the red dress from Moulin Rouge made for prom and with materials (15 yards of silk dupioni) it came to less than $500 and I still wear the skirt part for holidays even 7 years later.
Also, I shall quote you advice from my favourite book, A Guide to Elegance:
“It is a good never to go shopping for clothes with a girlfriend (or in your case, mom)…shop alone and turn only to the specialists for guidance. Although they may not be un-mercenary, at least they are not emotionally involved.”
The book explains in great detail, but it can be boiled down to this: Only you know your situation: budget, wants, desires, likes and dislikes. Everyone else can only see your choices through THEIR eyes and in the case of a Mom, this can be doubly so.
Post # 12
Sorry to hear the first dress shopping day wasn’t fun. I don’t think the dress you posted looks matronly, and I think I’ve seen a photo of someone on wedding bee in that dress and she looked beautiful. It also doesn’t sound like you 100% love or even like the dress, so you might want to check some other places. I’m also a plus size and found my dress at Alfred Angelo, so if there is an Alfred Angelo signature store near where you live, they carry sizes up to 28 or 30. Don’t lose hope, new wedding dresses come out all the time, and the new spring dresses should be out soon.
Post # 13
Thank you all for your words of comfort. I did consider a custom dress but this dress is really growing on me!!!
But yes, I am going to see what DB is coming out with in January before I make a final decision
Post # 14
I think the dress is so pretty – I love the neckline! I am sorry dear that you had a hard time out today. Are there any other David’s Bridal’s near you? Maybe you could call them and see if they have specific dresses available? As far as the sale’s lady – She is totally out of line. Welcome to wedding planning though! Lots of people who think they know what they are talking about will give you lots of advice that is not really helpful. Just brush them off, and move on! I don’t know about your relationship with your Mom, but maybe she was stressed too? I mean, her little girl is growing up and getting married, perhaps this is emotional for her as well….