- 5 years ago
- Wedding: December 2018
I’m new here but a friend recommended me to this site to help me out with this. I and my Australian boyfriend have been together since December 2010, so over two years. During that time, he’s had to give up large swathes of his life to come visit me and live in because I’m currently in college and can’t exactly switch countries at the moment, though the plan is for us to move there once I’m done with school.
Naturally, he’s getting antsy to get home and be with familiarity, but the main problem is his own. He cheated on me last month, over the internet with a girl, and got caught. I don’t know if he would have told me if he hadn’t gotten caught, or how much further it would have gone. I forgave him, but it’s at the point where one more strike and he’s out.
Now, we have had the most loving, understanding, trusting relationship until that. But that incident left a hole in my trust center that has yet to heal, and yes, I snooped on his private messages on a notion that something was up, and lo and behold, he was discussing the fact that half of him wants to break up with me because he hasn’t lived his life to the fullest, and wants to go flirt and have sex with girls because he’s not ready to settle down, but he also doesn’t want to lose me, and blames me internally perhaps for ruining his fun and not allowing him to do whatever he pleases, like cheat and do what a primal man would do.
It’s honestly from out of the blue, because I have always considered him to be the most decent of men in the two years we’ve had. I didn’t see it coming, and now that the relationship seems suddenly about to keel over, I don’t know what to do about it. I ask him to talk about it with me and he waves me off, and I ask if we’re breaking up, and he replies “I love you, and I don’t know.”
Am I better off without him? Is there anything I can do to repair the relationship, or is it on a downward spiral?