Post # 1
So my fiance and I have been together for over 2 years and engaged for 1.5 years. I love him dearly but I have a problem with his sister that is just not goin away.
My future SIL is 18 years old and she just got engaged. She is going to be getting married 2 months after we elope. Because we are eloping, we are not inviting anyone and no witnesses are required in AR. Future SIL and I do not get along. She was cool for awhile and then all of a sudden she became a complete *****. I get so mad that I just dont want to even be around her and hate it when I have to. My fiance wont let me say anything or do anything about this situation because he thinks that justice (she gets away with more than we ever did) will be served one day and because its not my place. When I first came into fiances life, all the acting out was because “I dont want to lose my brother”. Now that she is enaged and planning her own wedding, and a grown adult..I dont think she has a right to be like this.
The issue at hand is that i have planned a honeymoon for my fiance and I, and it happend to be during when her wedding was. She was making a big ordeal that I wasnt gonna change the dates of our honeymoon, that she would change the date of her wedding. I told her that it wasnt necessary and I could move our honeymoon around a bit (we are going to Disney World!!!). Seeing that we are eloping and having no guests, we obviously arnt inviting her to our wedding, but I dont understand why she wants me at hers. I told my fiance that he was more than welcome to go and I wasnt gonna stop him from going to his sisters wedding, but given the circumstances in the past 2 years i have known her, I dont want to attend her big day.
I need your help, how do I get out of going to this wedding? I dont want to be dramatic, we just dont get along.
This topic was modified 2 years, 9 months ago by elowe247.
Post # 2
- Wedding: November 2012 - Oak Tree Manor
elowe247: she may not be your favorite person in the world, but the day you marry your FI, she becomes your family. She’s his sister by blood. You will likely be a part of each other’s lives for the rest of your lives, so I don’t see any excuse not to go to her wedding. I’m sorry to be so blunt, but I think it could cause some really hurt feelings – including potentially offending your FI’s parents and other family members – by not attending his sister’s wedding. That’s definitely not worth it.
Post # 3
- Wedding: November 2009 - New York, NY
You don’t get out. She’s your FI’s sister and you will all be family. Unless you really want to create unnecessary drama with your IL, you just act like a mature adult and go to the wedding.
Post # 4
Wtf, just go to your SIL’s wedding! Suck it up! It doesn’t sound like she has done anything terrible to you.
Post # 5
Not going to your SIL’s wedding would definitely be dramatic. You and your FI are a social unit. You owe it to him to attend his sister’s wedding. Like my Mom used to say ” Nobody said you had to like it- just do it.”
Post # 6
Hmmm… Normally I’m in the “If you don’t like them, get away from them A.S.A.P” camp, but in this case I think a slightly different course of action is in order.
Not going to the wedding could very well be counterproductive and end up making you even more miserable; it could end up causing more drama. To avoid as much drama and trouble as possible, I suggest going to the wedding, being low key and calm, and then limiting your contact with her.
You don’t need to be around a difficult person just because they’re family, because that’s just not a good way of doing things, but sometimes one has to pay attention to timing when limiting contact with someone. This sounds like one of those situations.
I’m sorry you’re having to deal with her. I hope this issue gets resolved.
Post # 7
You are missing the point here. You are invited not because she wants you there but because she wants her brother there and you are the most important person to her brother. you should go not for her but for your husband this is an important day to their family it would be very selfish and immature that you would not stand by your then husband in an important day to his family. Suck it up dress up and put a smile in you face !
Post # 9
There’s no way you can get out of this without causing a bigger rift between you and your husbands family. It is essentially making him chose between you and his sister, even if you tell him he can go without you. In my honest opinion, I think it’s pretty selfish in your part
Post # 10
I had a really really difficult time with my DH family (he almost gave them up for me, it was all very sad and petty in the bigger picture) but I recentry got some great advice on how to deal with difficult inlaws. Fake it till you make it. Basically kill her with kindness. Every time you see her and she says something that annoys you or gets under your skin don’t say anything or say something that is kind back. If you act like this people will see that she is in the wrong or being mean and call her on it and they can’t say anything to you( and if she never gets called on her crap you can at least know you were the bigger person and feel good about your self) your FI is right that it’s not your place to say/do anything. As for her wedding it’s your and your FI choice to move your guys honeymoon( you could leave right after her wending or early the next morning,) you will be married than and you need to support his family to include his sister. don’t make him feel like he has to choice his fam or you its not good for your relationship(put yourself in his shoes if this was your sisters wedding and he didn’t want to go how would you feel) I hope this helps and everything works out