Post # 1
Last night FMIL told me she wanted to get me a strand of pearls for Xmas (heck yes!). It is the first time she has ever made a genuinely nice gesture to me (we had a bit of a falling out post dress shopping). I am really excited that this could be a positive for our relationship because I know it is important to my FI that her and I get along.
So, she asked me to go shopping with her this Saturday to pick out my pearls but I am a bit nervous because talking about money makes me uncomfortable and I don’t want to pick something out that is much more money than she expected to pay for. I know this is a very generous gift and I want to be careful not to overstep my boundaries and end up back where we were a few months ago.
Also, I already have a strand of pearls that were my grandmothers that she gave to me when she passed away. Would my FMIL think it’s weird if I got black or baroque pearls instead of the traditional ones, since I already own a traditional strand? I don’t want her to think that ones she is buying me are not as special because this really is a big step for our relationship and I don’t want to offend her.
Post # 3
@Lbward6: Hopefully she’ll present you with a few options that she’s picked out herself and you’ll make the final decision from there. I’d wait for her to ask you if you have anything particular in mind before mentioning the black/baroque pearls. If she doesn’t ask, and presents you with options that are too similar to your grandmother’s set, I think it’s ok to mention that you already have something similar in length/size/etc. and was hoping for something a little different so you have more opportunities to wear it. Good luck! — I can totally understand how you don’t want to offend her. Just let her take the lead and make subtle suggestions if you can.
Post # 4
It can be uncomfortable if you go with someone to pick out a gift. I was in that situation with my MIL a few months back. She wanted to get me a work bag since I received a great job offer. It was a really nice gesture but i’m super picky with what I want and I tend to have more expensive taste than most people prefer. I just went along with it, had her choose something that she felt comfortable with purchasing, and used it once or twice so she was happy I used it. We recently moved and I now use a work bag a lot more often as my commute has become more involved with the subway, so I purchased a bag more to my liking…I just made sure at that time she was having a lovely day and enjoying herself.
Post # 5
urbanriceball Tahnks for your feedback, I will definitely feel her out and let her kind of do the picking, she probably has something in mind already
MizzStark1026 I too have expensive taste and I know most people wouldn’t spend money on things I do (bags and shoes). That’s a good idea about making it more about her and the day we get to spend together. Thank you for replying, I am sure I am overthinking things but after a rocky past I just want everything to go smoothly from now on!