Post # 1
So here’s the trouble. My MOH just backed out. I knew it was a possibility so I’m bummed but not upset.
Now I have one BM who is being a bit loopy and may back out as well! Sheesh! And a BM who is local who has been there through everything and looking forward to being a part of the wedding and a cousin as a BM. I don’t have many friends atm since all my time involves work and school and the people I work with are… Well not my favorite people.
So my options for bridesmaids…
My fiances brothers girlfriend. His brother is his best man and his brother and the girlfriend have been dating since my fiance and I started dating. She’s nice but with her being shy and me being shy we’ve never really talked. Occasional facebook comments and just basic small talk at family functions
Another option is to have a co worker who I talk to sometimes. We have a common interest and talk about it a lot at work but have yet to hang out outside of work. She’s about 20 years older than me but so is my new MOH.
The last option is to have another cousin stand in. I’ve got a couple to choose from. I am a good 4 years older then them so we weren’t too close growing up or now even. We are family and talk and like spending time with eachother when we can but that’s not often sincce they live out of state.
So who would you choose?
Post # 3
I don’t think I would have any of them? I think the people in your wedding party should be the people closest to you and your FI. It sounds like you don’t know these people well. Is there a reason you have to have another bridesmaid?
Post # 4
He’s got 4 groomsmen that he’s close to because originally I had 4 bridesmaids I was close to. And I’m not too terribly picky but I just don’t like odd numbers. I’m even getting an extra table to make the set up look more in sync or whatever you’d call it. It just bugs me when things aren’t even
Post # 5
None of them. The point of bridesmaids is to have people you’re close to standing with you, and it doesn’t sound like you have much of a relationship with them. Don’t pick people just to even out numbers.
Post # 7
Agreed with PPs – bridesmaids should not be chosen as placeholders, they should reflect the truly important people in your lives.
If there are any women that your FI is close to (a sister? a good friend?) it might make sense to have them stand up with you, but I wouldn’t ask people who are basically acquaintances of yours just for the sake of symmetry. Who the people ARE to you is much more important than how the wedding pictures look.
Post # 8
@SadMrsToBe: +1. I completely agree.
Post # 9
Sorry, but my vote is to get over your issues with evenness and not ask any of them. The people standing by you should be the people you love and depend on and couldn’t imagine being there without. Not the random people you kinda get along with who make the pictures look even.
Post # 10
I know it bothers you to have uneven sides, but if it were me I wouldn’t chose any of them. The people that stand up there are the ones that mean the most to you. It doesn’t sound like anyone that you will pick is going to be someone that you truly know well and love. If I HAD to chose one, I would chose family because you don’t know what will hapen with the gf or the co-workers (nor family but I think that is a little more stable).
Keep in mind whoever you chose will be in a lot of your wedding pictures.
Post # 11
none of them, frankly. they aren’t props you put you to even up the sides, they should be close friends and family that you really want standing up there with you that day.
Post # 12
- Wedding: August 2013 - The Liberty House
If I had to pick any of them, I would say the brother’s girlfriend because they have been together a while and this might be an opportunity to get to know her better.
I would definitely say NOT the coworker because you two have never hung out outside of work, so your relationship is not likely to continue if you leave your job, and you don’t seem too close to her anyway
Post # 13
@MeiFrancis: Now that’s what I was thinking, I’m pretty sure the brother is going to propose next winter as well. The girl friend and I have a lot in common from our shyness to our faith. She’s a really good person and I’m pretty sure she will be a sister in law in law within a year or two, but I don’t want to be stepping over any lines by asking her.
Post # 14
- Wedding: August 2013 - The Liberty House
@kris325: You definitely wouldn’t be, it’s a nice gesture. Especially if you write her a little note or tell her that you would really like to get to know her better and hope that you can take this time to do that. Since she might also be planning a wedding soon, she might even appreciate some exposure to the wedding world
Post # 15
Maybe you can borrow a couple of mine, I have 7 girls standing up with me and FI has 5.. im not crazy about the uneven numbers but i coudnt imagine getting married without my best girls.. i wouldnt ask my FI if he could add 2 more random people cause well thats just not right, he picked his best peeps, i picked mine, who cares if they dont match up, one of his guys will have two girls on his arm. so maybe you will feel better if one of your girls gets excorted by two guys up the aisle.. symetry! it all works out… Not to mention how would the girls youre replacing feel about being so easily replaced! not very nice probably 🙁 just a thought
Post # 16
I’m in a similar situation. I no longer have a MOH due to some personal family issues. . . and I’ll be asking one of my current BM’s to be the new MOH. Rather than picking someone to fill in the space, I’m not adding anyone new. I’d rather have the people I want to be up there with me than random people so it makes the bridal party even or look better.