Need help picking stone type for engagement ring (diamond/moissanite/asha/etc)

posted 3 years ago in Rings
Post # 3
859 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I love my asha engagement and wedding rings.

Post # 4
1787 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I think moissanite is super cool, but I would not surprise someone with it.  Have you had any conversations with your girlfriend about what types of stones she likes?

Post # 5
1287 posts
Bumble bee

I’d talk to your girlfriend to see what her preferences were. She might be a diamond girl, she might like colored stones (emeralds, saphires…etc).  Best to ask her and get her opinion.  Everyone has a mixed opinion on the bee. Me, diamond. 

Post # 6
1080 posts
Bumble bee

What kind of girl is your girlfriend?

A stone like moissanite and asha require a girl to be pretty tough-skinned. A lot of girls LOVE their moissanites/ashas etc but a lot of people will judge them. Whether it be to their face, or behind their back.

You only have to hear some of the posters who will chime in now about moissanite ‘not being a real gem’ bla bla bla to hear how uppity people get about it.

I have a 1.25ct moissanite and I live in the UK. The average size for a diamond engagement ring in the UK is around 0.5ct, so a 1.25 stands out quite a bit! I got a lot of ‘looks’ from people who thought I was ‘faking it’ but I honestly don’t care. I LOVE my ring, and I love its size – and that is enough for me.

Other girls choose not to disclose their stone type to others, but remember that diamonds are expensive. If you don’t look like the kind of guy that could afford a 1+ct diamond, there is no way she could pass it off as one. People will automatically assume it’s a ‘fake’.

Have you come across moissanite/asha on your own? Or has she mentioned it to you? Because obviously that is a big question! Only you know how she’d react to a non-diamond ring. My fiance didn’t like the idea of moissanite when I first mentioned it to him, but he soon warmed to the idea when I explained why I would prefer it over diamond. In the end, he got me the ring of my dreams Smile

Post # 8
667 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

Just make sure she’s okay with a stone that is not a diamond and that she’s willing to tell people it’s not a diamond.

Post # 9
606 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

@kyle88:  I’d strongly recommend not getting a moissanite unless your girlfriend specifically said she wants one.  Most women who don’t care much about jewelry or fashion or status do care very very much about their engagment rings!!!!!!  It’s a huge deal.

I think a lot of women (myself included) love gem stones but not ones that looks like a diamond (like a moissanite).  I’d rather just have a diamond in that case and not have to keep explaining to people that I have a Moissy.  What’s her birthstone?  Sapphires, rubies and emeralds would all make beautiful engagment rings. 


Could you get one of her friends to get her to go to a jewelry store on some false pretense and get her to try on some rings and report back to you?  That way you could get her ring size and a better idea of what she would like. 


Post # 10
1080 posts
Bumble bee

@kyle88: hmmm…. i’d still probably get her a smaller diamond. especially as she’s not really picky. don’t get me wrong, i love my moissanite so much, but that’s because i didn’t want to compromise size and sparkle – i was less bothered about what it actually was.

the majority of girls would rather have a diamond just because it’s a diamond. if she hasn’t brought up moissanite specifically, i wouldn’t get one.

Post # 11
1080 posts
Bumble bee

OR get her a sapphire/ruby ring with tiny diamonds. OR an ‘antique’ ring. I think these types of rings are good when you’re on a budget.

Lots of my friends have rings like that.

Post # 12
8387 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

@kyle88:  Like other bees said, ladies that are happiest with moissanites are the ones that wanted it for themselves.  I personally love moissanite WAY more than diamonds (more durable, more fire, more brilliance, conflict free, stays cleaner longer….the list goes on), so of course I’m thrilled with my moissy.  However the stone behaves very differently than a diamond, so if she likes the white sparkle of a diamond she may not like the rainbow sparkle of a moissy.  Here are a few pics (note I have diamond sidestones)

low light (just after sunset)

Incandescent light

Indirect sunlight

Post # 13
859 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

@classyashley: Why does it matter to you if she is “willing to tell people its not a diamond?”

I dont tell people. No one. Only here.

I, for example, knew about Ashas for years before even meeting my husband. I had owned and loved them, because I knew how amazing they were I asked my hubby for an Asha ering because they look, feel and behave just like diamonds but are more realistically priced, which meant I could still have a nice big sparkly pretty diamond without the guilt of putting my FI into a second mortgage.

I dont want to share the info, its good for me yes, but if someone were not interested in looking into alternatives for themselves thats not my problem, and I am not interested in educating anyone.


So my question to you is why would I, as an Asha owner for example, tell anyone it is an Asha?


Post # 14
687 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

If you want it to be a surprise, and if your future fiancee isn’t into status symbols, I would get a small diamond in a simple solitaire setting. It’s timeless, it’s classic, and quite frankly diamonds are one of those things that most people just won’t go and buy themselves (unlike various simulants). 

If you go with a reputable dealer and get a GIA/AGS grated excellent/ideal cut, the stone will be so sparkly that its size won’t even matter that much – everyone who sees it will first notice the sparkle. 

Another awesome option is to go pre-owned (check out sites like idonowidont, diamondbistro, etc.) – you can get some really amazing savings if you aren’t opposed to buying something that “isn’t new” (a lot of stones that you get from your regular jeweler will also be bought back stones, you just won’t know about it). This will require doing some extra research though. 

If I had your budget, I would probably go with this setting for $180 and something like this stone (0.45 carats, K color, but 0.9 score on the HCA, meaning it has superior light reflection and scintillation) for $750, which would keep you right under $1000. If either of you are sensitive to color, you could try going down in clarity (inclusions will be less prominent in smaller stones): this 0.41 carat E I1 has a great HCA score (1.9) and costs $740, although I’m not a fan of that inclusion. 
If you could push your budget by a little bit, you could afford something like this 0.42 carat I SI2 for $860 – in fact, that one would probably be my personal choice of the three! It has very small inclusions that won’t be noticeable without a loupe, the color is high enought that you won’t see a yellow tint, and it has a great HCA score, meaning it will sparkle like crazy. 

By the way, here’s a thread I started with my mom’s 0.38 carat solitaire – you can see from the pictures and the poll results that it doesn’t look tiny at all!  

Post # 15
1068 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

I know people have been saying you need to be thick skinned/fully committed to wear a mossanite, but that is soooo not my experience in real life.  The only snarky comments I’ve ever seen about any engagement ring, ever are online.  In 99% of social groups, people don’t give half a shit about your engagement ring–they’re just happy you’re engaged and like sparkles.

Post # 16
2831 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

as someone who just loves sparkly things- i would go smaller rather than larger. smaller, better quality, in a simple solitaire setting. that way, you have a high quality stone that you could “upgrade” with a different setting of her choosing (if she didn’t like the solitaire).

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