Need Help Staying Positive

posted 3 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
864 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2015

Awe, this is a really big deal; it’s great and scary at the same time. Before/when he applied, did you guys talk ab the “what ifs?”

-what if he gets in and you don’t, vice versa? If so, what was the outcome of those talks?

I think the best thing to do now, if you haven’t had those talks already, is to sit down and figure out what the plan is if you are accepted and if you aren’t. 

As for tonight: I know it will be tough. Let your FI know before you go to the event that you’re concerned ab people’s questions, and you’d like him to have your back. 

Don’t borrow trouble from tomorrow 🙂 I know the next 31 days will be killer while you wait, but try not to stress too much. Use this time to figure out a plan for whatever the answer is. 🙂

Post # 5
Member
663 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

@peachykeener:  skype, FaceTime all of those really help in long distance relationships, to be honest it sounds like it will be hard because you will both be in stressful school programs and apart so if one of you is stressed and distance you might take it personal. Remember the long term goal. When my FI and I lived in different citys we actually grew a lot. we didn’t have the phyical intimacy so we really had to talk and work through things. Even now that we live together I think because that was how we started dating we both are great about the little I live you check ins and even when he’s going to be super late with work we FaceTime because we now know how important keeping in contact matters.

you guys need to have a heart to heart after you find out, try to get through the next31 days an then see what your opintions are

Post # 6
Member
864 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2015

@peachykeener:  well, as far as coping goes I dont know how helpful I’ll be (never been long distance, especially not in your situation) but I will try! Get a hobby is so frustrating to hear bc there will be days when you’re just like, fuck this hobby. Lol

the thing I tell my students, who get overwhelmed at having to complete a 1500 hour program, is to think weekly. If they complete 30/30 hours in a week, it seems less overwhelming than 30/1500. 

Also, use your time to immerse yourself in your program, and focus on your success. Your FI wants that for you too I’m sure. Set up times to Skype, and make sure you guys have each other’s address so you can send care packages! one thing my BFF did when her husband was deployed (on a sub, no contact for 6-10 weeks) was she’d workout every day with her girlfriends. She could release frustration and she got in bangin’ shape for that welcome home sexy time! 

Post # 7
Member
523 posts
Busy bee

We’re long distance now (it’s been mostly an hr distance for 3 years and now this fourth year is super long distance) and I knew even before my SO got all his decision letters back that he’d be going far away. He’s in Tennessee now and it’s been rough, there are days when I miss him so bad I want to cry. However it has also helped our relationship SO MUCH. I have always been one to “lose myself” in a relationship and just absorb my partner’s personality. Being that he’s like a million miles away and I see him once every 4 months I can’t really do that. I have started to devote myself to working out more and connecting with the other people in my life. I’m moving to Pitt in September for grad school so we’ll at least both be busy.

I like to look at it, as, in the grand scheme of our lifetime together this will be a blot on the radar. It also helps to make skype dates and we both have upped the amount of mail we sent. Nothing makes me feel closer to him then to get a postcard from him!

I won’t lie. It SUCKS and there will be days that will test the strength of your relationship but if you can get through this you know you have a strong bond! I know it seems impossible at the beginning but trust me, if it happens you WILL get through it. 🙂 Good luck (and I’m pulling for that acceptance letter for you at his school!!!)

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