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Need help... What's the planning process??

posted 9 months ago in Logistics
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    1.
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    170 posts
    Blushing bee
    Big Truck    September 9, 2012  

    Hi again.  I know I'm jumping the gun on all things wedding at this point since I'm still not engaged, but knowing the engagement is coming up (the ring should be ready to pick up either today or tomorrow), I can't help but constantly think about planning!

    I've picked the date I want to get married.  September 9, 2012.  How'd I settle on that?  Quite honestly, I woke up one morning and thought, "September 9th would be a good day to get married."  And I checked my schedule and I'm off that weekend so YAY!  Random way to pick it, but it felt right so I'm going with it hahaha.

    But I'm paranoid.  People book their venues like a year or more in advance.  Now, we're not even engaged yet, probably won't be until October or November.  So I'm afraid that once we start looking into venues, they're all gonna be booked for that day.  ARGH!  It's killing me.

    If I could, I'd book something myself ASAP.  Just so I'm sure we have the date.  But SO really needs to be involved in picking the venue, to make sure the menu is ok, the setting is nice enough for him etc.

    I did bring up my anxiety over this to him and he freaked out.  "We're not even engaged yet!!"  I knooooowww but this date is EXTREMELY important to me!  I didn't realize just how important it is until last night.  My dad is a retired police officer, and his badge number when he was on the force was #9.  Also, my father is my hero.  He is my #1.  But the number 9 means a lot to him, and I didn't fully realize the significance getting married on 9/9 would have.  Every year it would be like a constant tribute to my dad.  And I LOVE that idea!!!

    Which is why it's like 78,000x more important to me that I get that date now.

    But even if I book the place, don't I have to make sure the person performing the ceremony is available that day?  We'd like to have the ceremony and reception in the same place.  And also the photographer/videographer?

    OMG too much to think about, really.

    So, hive, I ask.... What's the proper procedure for all this?  Which do I book first?  And is it absolutely crazy of me to want to book something so far in advance (in the sense that we're not engaged yet)?  If I don't get that date, I will die inside, no joke.

    Am I turning into a bridezilla already and I'm not even a freakin bride-to-be yet?

    Yiiiiiikes I am overwhelmed already Foot in mouth  PLEASE HELP!

     
    2.
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    2,436 posts
    Buzzing bee
    galloway111    June 16, 2012   WI

    Well, I'd say book your venues first. They book the farthest out. From there, book everyone else- we booked everything within the same week, really, so it's not about "first" as much as doing all of it ASAP. If you need more of an order though, book what's most important. We had a photographer we loved and really wanted, and found out that someone else wanted her too for the same date. So we went for it sooner than we would have. If the specific caterer is super important, book that.

    Honestly, it wasn't that hard to coordinate everything. We didn't want a set date, so we just went into venues and asked what they had open. We went in April and nothing was booked, but that could be regional. Everyone had June 16th open and it just felt right so we went with it.

    ETA: Basically what I'm saying is, I'd wait for the proposal, but from there you'd have to choose by importance. If you want a specific venue and date, but the venue isn't available, you'll have to decide what's most important. It sounds like the date is to you, so you'll get everything you need but possibly not your first choice.

     
    3.
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    Helper bee
    romanticone5555    October 2011  

    Haha aww. Well first off, RELAX. Mainly because you'll freak out your future fiancee if you move ahead with all these plans before he proposes.

    Second, you have to decide what is most important to you - a particular venue (if you have one in mind) or the date. It sounds like the date has special meaning to you. SOME venues get booked far in advance. I know one of our chapels where I live gets booked two years in advance, but it's at a large university. Most people never get married there because of that fact alone. Most reception venues and ceremony sites won't get booked until 10-12 months before the wedding. That would put you in that time frame, but again, I'd say hang out and be willing to work around it if you really want the date more than anything.

    Same goes for the photographer. Some really good ones get booked far in advance, but there are lots and lots of good ones out there. If you have your heart set on one, you have to take that into consideration. However, I know I could have picked from about 20 different photographers in my area. I absolutely loved one, and that's who we got, but if she would have been booked I wouldn't have cared in the end.

    Wedding planning is overwhelming at first. It seems like there is so much to think about, and that is true. But you just have to take it one step at a time, starting with the engagement. Enjoy waiting for the ring and then wearing it!!! I'd recommend enjoying being engaged for at least a week or two before jumping head-first into planning. Believe me, it gets stressful and plain old annoying really quick. But it can be very exciting as well.

    I know you're just anxious and want to make sure you're doing things right. Just be careful about getting too gung ho to the lovely man in your life. Some men tend to look like deer in the headlights hearing about wedding planning, and you want him to at least be excited to be engaged if you want him to help you during the coming months.

    Smile and know that everything will be alright. Because it will be, no matter what happens. Just remember that the important thing is your future husband and the life you'll build together.

     
    4.
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    381 posts
    Helper bee
    spitfire229    October 22, 2011  

    I bought my dress before I had the ring. Just go for it!

     
    5.
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    1,124 posts
    Bumble bee
    chittychittybanebane    October 22, 2011  

    I picked out my venue before the ring and called to ask if the dates I liked (I didnt care which weekend , as long as it was in October). This was in July- and she told me they were booked through September. Scared the crap out of me. Thank God he proposed the next weekend (Aug 6). By Aug 9th , we signed papers for our Oct 22nd wedding! So- venue first! :)

     

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