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The only way to get comfortable with your body is to spend time thinking good things about it instead of thinking how fat you are and how ugly your body is.
Obviously your FI loves your body!
I know how you feel. I'm 5' and about 115 lbs. At my best, I'm closer to 105. I miss that! I've noticed that regardless of the number on the scale, I feel much better when I'm exercising almost every day. You might try doing positive things rather than thinking about how you feel fat, that always works for me.
I'm 5'2" and fluctuate between 115 - 120. I don't think I've been 105 since like middle school!! I love my body when its at about 115 and would love to lose 5 more, but realize that as long as I'm eating healthy and exercising, I'm perfectly okay with being 115!!
A LOT of medications cause weight gain... it's just a fact of life and one that's kind of ignored by our society when we demonize people for gaining weight.
The most important thing is to think about yourself beyond your body, and your body beyond how much space it does (or doesn't) take up. Think about it in terms of health - not just the issues you're having to overcome with your health, but also with all the things you're lucky to have functioning correctly.
I can't decide if this is a mean exercise or not, but sometimes I try looking at other people with the same level of criticism I put on myself. It's really jarring to see how someone I find really attractive starts looking weird if I try to find fault with each individual feature (as I do with myself) rather than seeing them as an overall person (as I normally do with others). This has helped me learn to stop breaking myself into pieces so I can find something wrong with each individual one.
Another thing that's helped is becoming aware of the parts of my body I may not like but cannot change. I often get insecure about my stomach, but part of that is that my waist is high and my torso long. Those are things I can't change. Realizing that some things are out of my control - that I can't will myself a smaller frame or longer legs - has helped me come to grips with the things that maybe, if I devoted my entire life and gave up my health to them, I could.
Also - stop worrying about weight. Yours is neither low enough nor high enough to be causing you serious health issues and is as much a reflection of meds as habits, so it only makes you less healthy to worry about. Also - weight is a very bad number to focus on because it doesn't differentiate between healthy and unhealthy mass or your natural build. Not that you should focus on anything beyond doing what makes you feel good (eating foods that nourish you and enough of them, exercising but not to the point of discomfort, adopting a positive body image, being nice to yourself), but definitely not on something that 1) doesn't reflect health well and 2) is mostly out of your control at this point. It'd be like obsessing over your height.
I think you are super cute the way you are! If you are feeling down though about your weight do something nice for JUST YOU monthly :) (pedicures, lunch date with the girls, new shoes, get your hair done, massage, etc etc)!!!!!
thanks everyone for the support, you guys always make me feel better
@Entangled: your post really helped me, its my new mantra.
I don't want to minimize the pain and discomfort of IC in any way--believe me, I know all about it. For 75 days I didn't sleep through an entire night. What I'm wondering is if you have tried physical therapy for it. For me, that was enough to get me off the meds. I fully realize that everyone is different, but I do want to mention it as an option if you haven't been offered it yet. The other thing is counseling. Have you done that? Feeling like your body isn't working "right" can be really crushing to one's self-esteem and daily life. Best of luck to you!
@vonnegurl: sorry to here you have it too, it sucks! I never heard of doing physical therapy as an option- i willl have to look into it. theres no way though, that i would be able to get off my meds- even if i forget to take them say in the morning- my bladdor is dying- it took me a while to get use to the pills side effects and it took a good 4 months for them to really kick in, but now i cant imagine being without them. ive tried interstem therapy but it didnt do anything for me also and ive motifited my diet to not eat/drink acicdic things (the only thing that hurts my bladdor is coffee) oo and i hear ya about the sleep thing, before i was diganosed i was getting up 5 to 10 a night- it was horrible, during the day i was going up to 50 times a day, life really sucked, thankfully it has gotten better then before, but i am now in a flare and omg it sucks. im going crazy again. me and my heating pad are best friends right now. lol
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So i've always been pretty skinny, my weight never started to bother me until about 2 years ago i got diagnosed with intersitial Cysitis and began meds that made me gain about 10- 12 pounds.... might not seem likea lot but on a short girl, it is. (im barely 5'1). im around 115 now. Its really starting to affect my self esteem- and it really bothers me a lot. doesnt help that my mom is my height and weighs 102 pounds lol. urghh i jut feel chubby. im eating better and trying to exercise but its hard with my Interstial Cystitis becuase i always have to pee and have pressure in my stomach/bladder which makes me really REALLY uncomfortable. How do i get comfortable in my body? Heres a picture of me now. blah. i really need tips on how to be more comfortable with myself.