- 6 years ago
- Wedding: June 2013
So when I got engaged, I instantly chose my best friend (who was the only person who knew we were getting engaged a head of time), my fiance’s sister (because she’s family), and then my fiance’s best female friend (I wanted her there too, but the trade off is that my best male friend is one of the groomsmen) to be my bridesmaids.
I didn’t choose any of the girls that I’m closest to because none of them really care about weddings. For example, they didn’t even congratulate me when I got engaged. Instead they said things like, “wow” or “I didn’t expect this.” instead of telling me they were happy for me, etc. I also didn’t choose them because whenever I tell them any wedding plans (when they ask, not when I bring it up) they make rude comments, “you’re having a minister marry you? Why? Ew” or “no full bar? What are we supposed to do for fun?” Even though I love my friends, I just did not want that kind of negetivity around my wedding.
Anyways, last night, they brought up the fact that they were hurt that I didn’t ask them to be bridesmaids (they kind of did it jokingly, so I wasn’t sure if they were serious). I thought it was rude for them to mention it (we were all hanging out in a large group, so it wasn’t a private conversation). I tried to explain why I chose who I did and they immediantly cut in and said “so you chose your trashy friends?” I didn’t know what to say and the conversation turned quickly.
Anyways, I guess I should have a sit down with them and talk about my choices and why I didn’t choose them? I don’t know how to really do that. My fiance said he would come along and defend me if it turned nasty, but I don’t know how to bring it up, what to say, etc. Any advice? I feel bad that I’m hurting people’s feelings, but at the same time, I feel like they are being really mean to me. Any ideas/advice/anything?
Thanks for reading if you got all the way through that!