Post # 1
Ok all, I have a problem. My FI and I hate cake. Every wedding that I go to that has cake I think, “I won’t be having that at MY wedding.” And now, here I am, a month from my wedding thinking about how I may have to have a cake on my day!
So, here’s the deal: the hotel we’re having our wedding at contracts with a large “production-like” bakery, so we have to use them for our desserts. I figured when we went for the tasting that we could just find something else to get but their pastries, cupcakes and non-cake options tasted like they came from the Costco freezer section. And I am being nice here because I love the Costco freezer section! They were NOT good!
I spoke with my hotel catering manager and she said she can let us bring in our own dessert, but we can’t get any kind of credit for not using the bakery because they get such a huge discount for bulk ordering, so we’d be out that $$ for the cake and we’d have to put out more for bringing in our own dessert!
I LOVE desserts and want something memorable for our wedding, so I want to do something besides the cake. MY FI thinks I just need to suck it up and get a cake from this bakery since it’s already paid for, and we don’t have to eat it anyway, but I’m honestly feeling like this is the ONE thing that I do not want to give up of my wedding “dream”. Everyone keeps telling me that no one will even remember it and that others like cake, so I shouldn’t worry, but I’ve always dreamed that people would remember the dessert because it’s my favorite part of the meal!
I was thinking to compromise that we get the cake so people can have that but possibly spend a small amount on another kind of dessert so that I can be at peace that there’s something awesome that I love at the wedding.
What do you all think? Am I being crazy? Should I just suck it up and not spend the money knowing that people will eat the cake and not care that there’s not another option? Can anyone suggest something that we could get for our guests as like a mini dessert bar, something totally tasty?
Post # 3
I think it makes total sense to add more desserts then just a cake, if that is what you want. If your budget allows it, then I think it’s fine to go ahead and order a small cake which is already part of your hotel catering package for guests to enjoy, you might as well if its included, plus it gives you something to cut if you are into the cake cutting tradition. And then seperately add a dessert spread of other non-cake items that you like. Since it sounds like your venue/caterers will allow you to bring your own desserts, as long as they aren’t covering the costs, then I say go for it.
As a side note: I am a HUGE HUGE dessert/sweet tooth. We had a three tier cake plus an entire viennese dessert bar at my wedding. Everyone enjoyed both cake and non-cake desserts (our dessert bar had three types of cookies, tiramasu squares, cake pops, chocolate dipped strawberries and fruit, flan/custard, and lemon squares.)
Don’t worry it will all work out, as long as you are happy with the desserts you want to offer, your guests will be too.
Post # 4
@UrbanGem: Thanks so much! I like how you think. I had a friend suggest that if we want to do something low budget to do a float bar or ice cream sandwich bar. I think this could satisfy both my FI and myself. I’m hoping I can do it and can stop stressing!!
Post # 5
Oh I completely understand! I am a tragic sweet tooth, love baking, but really hate cake!
I think that if your budget allows it, order a separate dessert in addition to the cake. It’s important to you – so its worth it. An ice cream sundae bar is always well enjoyed – just get a couple of different flavours of ice cream, then go crazy with different toppings.. Would be really fun to shop for! If you’re struggling budget-wise, you could always ask a few friends/relatives to help out.. A lot of women (especially older) have a ‘signature’ dish that I’m sure they would be really excited to make for you. Mini chocolate mousses, cheesecake slice, strawberry mascarpone slice, even easy-peasy rocky road would be an amazing dessert buffet and people always love a bit of variety.
On a completely different note, is there any way to get the bakery to make a cake that’s less ‘cake-y’? Like a fudge/mousse cake or cheesecake or similar? It still won’t be exactly what you’relooking for, but might be a bit of a compromise.