(Closed) Need Help with Invite wording as I am asking guest to pay half there meal !!!

posted 5 years ago in Reception
Post # 3
46256 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I am sorry you are having to alter your plans, but in no circumstances is it appropriate to ask your guests to pay half the cost of their meal.

If you cannot afford to cover the cost of the meal, change the meal, reduce the number of guests, or change your reception to an afternoon tea, a morning brunch or some other celebration that you can afford.

Post # 4
1466 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2012 - Father's Vineyard Church/ A Touch of Class Banquet Center

I’m sorry to say it, but there is no polite way to request this. I would look at either postponing your wedding or looking at ways to cut your budget so that you can properly feed your guests. They aren’t guests if they have to pay for part of their meal and it’s rude to even request it. If you proceed with this plan, I would not be surprised if the majority of your guestlist declines.

I’m sorry that you only have one wage, and you have your son to boot (I know that kiddos are expensive), and that’s affecting the kind of wedding you have to have, but please do not ask your guests to pay for half of their own meals. Either cut the guest list in half so you can pay for that number in full, or have a small wedding now and have a larger vow renewal in the future.

Post # 5
511 posts
Busy bee

@Camilla:  I’m not sure how you would word that either because I have never been invited to a wedding where I was expected to pay for half of my meal.  I’m pretty sure that you won’t find a lot of people too happy about that, regardless of your financial situation.  I mean you wouldn’t buy a new car and expect to drive away with it having only paid for half of it, would you?

Post # 6
963 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

@julies1949:  +1. Keep in mind you don’t have to do a full meal. Even a small cake and punch reception is better than asking people to pay for themselves. You can also cut your guest list to reduce the cost.

The purpose of a reception is to thank the guests for attending the ceremony and supporting the marriage. For this reason, it should be hosted (paid for) by the bride and groom.

Post # 7
2523 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

You can’t ask guests to pay for any part of their meal. Have a dessert or hor’ deurv (I can’t spell that word) reception if you can’t afford a meal for your guests.

Post # 8
2179 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

Don’t do anything you can’t afford. We can’t pay for a full meal for our guests, so we opted for a an afternoon affair with cocktails and appetizers. I’d be very uncomfortable attending a wedding I was expected to partially pay for.

Post # 9
1936 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

@Camilla:  There isnt a polite way to ask this, since it’s beyond rude to start with. Change the date or change your plans, but under no circumstances should you EVER tell your guests they need to pay. Bad, bad, bad idea. I doubt you’d get anyone to attend. 

Post # 10
1917 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

Maybe you should consider inviting half as many people. 

Post # 11
7561 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2013

Like PP said, you can’t ask people to pay for their meals. Your options- 

1. Invite fewer people

2. Do a cake and punch reception

3. Elope and don’t have a reception 

Post # 12
11273 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2012

@Camilla:  with all due respect, i can’t believe you are even considering this.  please do yourself a favour and listen to what pp are suggesting.

@julies1949:  @louisianablue:  agreed

Post # 13
1269 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I hope this thread doesn’t make you feel bad, but I’m wondering how were you proposing that this works? Do the guests send you money before hand? How do you plan to collect half the money?

Post # 14
699 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Oh honey. No. There is no way this could ever be done politely. Cut your guest list, do just appetizers and cocktails. Something. Under no circumstances is it appropriate to ask for half (or any) payment. You want to enjoy this special day with people that love you most, not have it be an awkward evening. 

Post # 16
533 posts
Busy bee

You need to change your wedding plans. You’ve got 7/8 months? Cut the list, change the menu. You can’t ask your guests to pay for half. 

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